FF: Romance in the Workplace... Part Five-Seven [8/22/12]

Update on my health, unfortunately I'm not completely 100% better yet. Trying to focus on getting better and final exams that are quickly approaching so will not be able to update much on the blog for some time. But as soon as I get exams out of the way, I will resume to updating my previous fanfictions, especially Incomplete Life since I know it has been awhile since I've worked on that and I plan to wrap that story up as soon as possible. Please bear with me. I know I'm awful for keeping you all waiting, but I'm trying my best here. For now, here's the next installment for this story. 

And please do give any suggestions for a title for this story since I can't figure out one for the life of me. I'd really appreciate it! Please do read and comment! 

Part Five: 

To: Jai Walia <jaiwalia_101@gmail.com

Fr: Anu Walia <flyinggirl@yahoo.com

Subject: Our Big Bro

Okay, I know that you are on the plane by now and won’t get this email till you arrive, but I have to tell you this now. I can’t wait till you come. Jigs also says that this will give you a good laugh.

So our Tarun “Bhaiya” has finally woken up after being passed out for nearly 48 hours. Picture this……

Setting: Private hospital room with personal doctors and nurses all set up by our mother of course. Grim father, anguished mother, pregnant sister, still crying soon-to-be Mrs. Toad face (will she ever shut up?), and cool and extremely attractive younger sister all gather around the patient’s bed. Toad face’s eyes flicker open and he gazes around the room dazedly as if he doesn’t know where he is (he so does, the bastard). He then looks to the anguished mother and says in a rather wimpy tone (if that is a turn on for Miz Chopra, then there is something seriously wrong with the woman) ….

Toad face: ….Mother?---Where am I?

Anguished mother gasps from delight and embraces the toad face looking patient (geez, his hair line really is receding. Is that from Dad’s side or from Mom’s? You think that’s going to happen to us too when we hit that age?)

Anguished mother: Oh Tarun darling, you made us all so worried about you…. (cool and extremely attractive younger sister snorts which earns a glare from the anguished mother)

Toad face: (carrying on in that wimpy voice) ….but what happened?

Anguished mother continues without missing a heartbeat while stroking his receding, graying hair (I seriously do wonder what’s so special about Tarun that makes Ma all gaga about him)

Anguished mother: You had a stroke dear, now hush…. Don’t waste all your energy speaking… You have to rest…. (Ha, that’s a joke. What the hell was he doing for the past two days if it wasn’t resting is what I’d like to know)

Grim father: Your mother is right. Take it easy, Tarun. (I’m shocked---this is the first time Dad has said that Ma is right about something. He’s so going to regret saying that later.)

Toad face: …. Where’s…. Pia? (he asks as if he can’t see his equally toad looking girlfriend[soon to be fiancée I’m assuming] right in front of him, crying those stupid fake tears of hers. I swear I saw her put some drops in her eyes earlier)

Still crying soon-to-be Mrs. Toad face steps forward and sits down beside him on the edge of the bed while taking his hands into her own. (Ew, why would anyone want to touch him? Besides Ma of course.)

Still crying soon-to-be Mrs. Toad face: I’m right here Tarun, darling…. (choking over her stupid tears---good, I hope she does. It’ll give us all some peace and quiet for at least a minute)

Toad face: ….. Pia… don’t cry my darling (gag, I’m so going to be sick). I’m sorry…. I probably caused you a lot of distress, didn’t I?

Still crying soon-to-be Mrs. Toad face: Of course not…. I love you Tarun…. I’m always going to be here for you for better or for worse… (oh god, I’m seriously going to hurl. That was a wedding vow, wasn’t it? It sounded like a wedding vow. And omg, you had to have seen Ma’s face when she heard that. Her face practically beamed. No worries about her being impressed by her future DIL)

Toad face: I love you so much, Pia….

Toad face and still crying soon-to-be Mrs. Toad face share a heated embrace---completely neglecting the fact that grim father, anguished mother, pregnant sister, and cool and extremely attractive younger sister are still in the room. Cool and extremely attractive younger sister wonders how still crying soon-to-be Mrs. Toad face can stand looking at Toad face for so long without having her eyes burn.

Pregnant sister: Now, now, you two lovebirds… This is a PG-rated room…. (I just love Jiggy, don’t you?)

Toad face and still crying soon-to-be Mrs. Toad face quickly spring apart. Toad face finally pays attention to the rest of the people in the room. As well as to himself.

Toad face: … Mother, I can’t feel the left side of my arm…..

Handsome, hunky, and hopefully single doctor with a nice tush comes walking in after being summoned for by anguished mother. He seems to want to kill himself just about now. (Can’t blame him really, now can we? Who wouldn’t after being harassed nonstop by someone like our mother for the past two days?)

When handsome, hunky, and hopefully single doctor with a nice tush speaks in that sexy, drawling tone of his---it makes cool and extremely attractive younger sister forget all about her worthless boyfriend and want to jump his bones. Maybe she can when he is off duty. She will have to check later.

Handsome, hunky, and hopefully single doctor with a nice tush: It is normal for your left side to be left paralyzed as a side effect from a stroke, Mr. Walia. But we will handle that and with no time you will regain full use of your arm. It will just require some therapy. (he says after examining a now whining Tarun---what a wuss, geez)

He then walks away and I kid you not, throws cool and extremely attractive younger sister a wink before leaving the room. Cool and extremely attractive younger sister now has even more reason to go meet him later.

Toad face: This is preposterous…. I can’t be paralyzed…. And I can’t be in recovery for the next few months… I have to get back to work….(typical of Tarun to say----always making himself seem much more important than he really is.)

Anguished mother: Now Tarun dear, don’t stress yourself over work…. Your father will handle it, won’t you Uday?

Grim father (Also looking like if he wants to shoot himself, but that’s nothing new. He always looks like that whenever Ma speaks): Yes, I have it all under control. Just focus on recovering fully, Tarun. That should be your first concern. You don’t worry about the business.

Toad face: But what the hell am I going to do cooped up in this place for so long? I’ve got work to do and places to be. (He thinks waaaayyyy too highly of himself. Someone needs to deflate his fat head.)

Grim father: Tarun, cool it, okay? The business will be handled. Now stop whining. (Way to go Dad, jail really did make him more snarkier than he already was.)

And that pretty much settles it all, except Toad face continues to sulk and whine with Mrs. Toad face (she finally stopped crying---hurray!!!) showering him with kisses (I feel my dinner coming up) in order to appease him.

So there you have it. You should have been there, really. It was just so comical. Me and Jigs just couldn’t stop laughing. Tarun’s a damn good actor (with how he was trying to act all naïve and all)---he should have gone into the acting industry instead of the family business. I’m sure he’d reach higher heights of success by now.

Anu

p.s. Aditya Jiju stayed home with the kids. Jigs told me that he absolutely refused to come and that if he had to stay around our family for any longer he’d shoot himself. Poor guy, he’s far too much of a nice guy to be mixed up with us Walias.
__________________________________________________________________________________

To: Meera Khandelwal <meera4u@hotmail.com

Fr: Pia Chopra <ms.chopra@yahoo.com

Subject: Tarun

Well, he’s awake, finally. I’m getting real tired of this crying act. Thanks for the Glycerin --- they really did work. Now I can go home and sleep in peace. There is no way that his stupid mother can keep me here for any longer.

Pia

__________________________________________________________________________________

To: Bani Dixit <bani.dixit@wgi.com

Fr: Rano Sharma <rano.sharma@wgi.com

Subject: Why the hell are you so

happy this morning? And please explain to me why you are humming? You are making me nauseous---cut it out.

Rano

__________________________________________________________________________________

To: Rano Sharma <rano.sharma@wgi.com

Fr: Bani Dixit <bani.dixit@wgi.com

Re: Why the hell are you so

My happiness makes you nauseous? Some friend you are, Rano. And how can I not be happy? It’s Friday which means after work I can go home soak in the bathtub and enjoy the weekend off. The weekends are the things that keep me sane, you know.

Bani

p.s. Oh and it helps that I have my favorite grand caramel frap with me this morning J
__________________________________________________________________________________

To: Bani Dixit <bani.dixit@wgi.com

Fr: Rano Sharma <rano.sharma@wgi.com

Re: Why the hell are you so

Um, sorry to burst your bubble, but you can soak in the bathtub some other night because you are coming to my place for dinner, remember? And don’t you dare bail out on me. I’ll go crazy if it’s just going to be me, Ranveer, and the in-laws. I’ll steal the damn key to the storage room if I have to and get myself shit drunk.

Rano

p.s. No fair----where’d you get the time to go and get a frap this morning? You barely make it to work on time to begin with.
_________________________________________________________________________________

To: Rano Sharma <rano.sharma@wgi.com

Fr: Bani Dixit <bani.dixit@wgi.com

Re: Why the hell are you so

Oh rats. Okay, so I temporarily forgot. But I’ll be there. Don’t worry.

Bani

p.s. I have my ways.

p.p.s. Now quit emailing me----I’m seriously slammed with a lot of work to do. Cobra may be gone physically, but god knows I can never be rid of her.
__________________________________________________________________________________

To: Ranveer Sharma <rsharma_01@gmail.com

Fr: Bani Dixit <bani.dixit@wgi.com

Subject: You rock

Thanks for the frap! I can’t believe you remembered. J

Bani

p.s. Where did you hide the storage room key?
__________________________________________________________________________________

To: Bani Dixit <bani.dixit@wgi.com

Fr: Ranveer Sharma <rsharma_01@gmail.com

Re: You rock

I keep my word.

Ranveer

p.s. Why? What makes you ask? Is Rano asking you?
__________________________________________________________________________________

To: Ranveer Sharma <rsharma_01@gmail.com

Fr: Bani Dixit <bani.dixit@wgi.com

Re: You rock

No, but she did say that she’d steal the key if she had to which just implies that she knows where it is. I’d keep a close watch over it if I was you.

Bani
__________________________________________________________________________________

To: Bani Dixit <bani.dixit@wgi.com, Rano Sharma <rano.sharma@wgi.com

Fr: Pushkar Shukla <pushkar.shukla@wgi.com

Subject: Lunch at the café?

I think I deserve it after what you ladies made me pull yesterday last minute. That was thirty minutes taken off from my time to get ready for my date last night (which went great, if you know what I mean).

I feel bad for the boy---he was already feeling emasculated by your continuous refusal, Buns, but now he must feel absolutely worthless since I beat him. A heterosexual man losing to a homosexual----imagine that. I bet he doesn’t feel so macho anymore. He he.

Pushkar

p.s. Is it twisted that I felt kind of turned on when we were arm wrestling? He has very nice biceps and forearms.
__________________________________________________________________________________

To: Pushkar Shukla <pushkar.shukla@wgi.com

Fr: Bani Dixit <bani.dixit@wgi.com

Re: Lunch?

Sure thing----it’s on me. It’s the least I can do for what you did for me. I’ll even get you a treat for the bonus of emasculating him.

Bani

p.s. How you can get turned on during an arm wrestle is beyond me.
__________________________________________________________________________________

To: Pushkar Shukla <pushkar.shukla@wgi.com

Fr: Rano Sharma <rano.sharma@wgi.com

Re: Lunch?

You’re on pretty boy.

Rano

p.s. It’s so typical of you to be checking out a man in any given situation. Get a hold of yourself, Pushkar. You’re even worse than a woman.

__________________________________________________________________________________

To: Daksh Randheria <daksh.randheria@wgi.com

Fr: Sonali Malhotra <sonali.malhotra@wgi.com

Subject: Yesterday’s match

Oh Daksh darling, cheer up, will you? You are all man. Don’t start doubting your capabilities, dear. How could you know that Pushkar body builds as a hobby? And who would have thought too---considering that he’s gay and all.

Sonali

p.s. Fancy having lunch at Blue Moo’s?
__________________________________________________________________________________

To: Pushkar Shukla <pushkar.shukla@wgi.com

Fr: Daksh Randheria <daksh.randheria@wgi.com

Subject: For the record

You did not beat me, okay? I was distracted by the way Sonali was all over me. How could I put up a fight when she was in the way?

Daksh
__________________________________________________________________________________

To: Daksh Randheria <daksh.randheria@wgi.com

Fr: Pushkar Shukla <pushkar.shukla@wgi.com

Re: For the record

Whatever you say, handsome. ----Fancy a rematch any time soon?

Cheers,

Pushkar
__________________________________________________________________________________

To: Anu Walia <flyinggirl@yahoo.com

Fr: Jai Walia <jaiwalia_101@gmail.com

Re: Our Big Bro

You ever thought about becoming a writer? ---You have a knack for storytelling.  

And you’re right; it did give me a good laugh. Typical family moment. It makes it even more typical since I wasn’t there.

Jai

p.s. You can say goodbye to that hunky, single tush or whatever it is doctor if you so much as look at him. And that’s not a threat. That’s a promise.
__________________________________________________________________________________

To: Jai Walia <jaiwalia_101@gmail.com

Fr: Anu Walia <flyinggirl@yahoo.com

Re: Our Big Bro

Dude, aren’t you supposed to be in the air or something? How the hell are you writing this to me?

Anu

p.s. Oh, I did more than just look, alright----so much more. And there’s nothing you can do about it because you don’t know anything about him except that he has a nice tush. Plus, he’s a doctor so you have no authority to speak to him in his hospital. Besides, he’s not the only doctor that’s on Tarun’s case. And I doubt you will be scanning the hospital for male doctors and checking out their backsides---unless you know, you’re gay. That’d explain why you haven’t gotten married yet.
_________________________________________________________________________________

To: Anu Walia <flyinggirl@yahoo.com

Fr: Jai Walia <jaiwalia_101@gmail.com

Re: Our Big Bro

What the hell do you mean you did more than just look? Tell me that you didn’t do anything more than just speak to that sicko.

And I have other ways of finding out who that pervert of a doctor is besides checking out every male doctor’s backside. I’m an investigating journalist, don’t you forget that.  

Jai

p.s. Jesus Christ. Why is everyone on my back about getting married? I’m only 33, dammit. Cut me some slack. Here in America, that’s considered to be relatively young. And I’m not even going to comment on the gay thing. It’s too ridiculous.
__________________________________________________________________________________

To: Jigyasa Bali <jiggypoo@hotmail.com

Fr: Jai Walia <jaiwalia_101@gmail.com

Subject: The little hippie

You tell me that creep of a doctor’s name right now, Jigs. Or there will be some very bad consequences. 

Jai

p.s. I’m not coming to stay with you. Get over it.
__________________________________________________________________________________

To: Jai Walia <jaiwalia_101@gmail.com

Fr: Jigyasa Bali <jiggypoo@hotmail.com

Re: The little hippie

My, my Jai. Are you using that blackberry of yours while up in the air? Aren’t you a crime journalist? Don’t you know that you’re not supposed to be using electronic devices while on a plane? Or did you miss the demonstration by the flight attendants before taking off?

I’m assuming that the little hippie you are referring to is our little sister, Anu, and I’m guessing you found out about the hunky, handsome, and hopefully single doctor with a nice tush (he really does have a nice tush).

I did try to stop her, you know, considering that he’s over a decade older than her. But the girl is uncontrollable nowadays. She’s not as naïve as she used to be. You remember when we told her that she’d die if she even kissed a boy? That kept her lips tight shut for a while. That is until she hit puberty at 15 (poor thing was a bit of late bloomer compared to her big sis).

And come on Jai, she’s twenty. You can’t keep on being so protective about her. She’s older now and what’s the harm in having some fun now and then? I do hope that you are not under the impression that our little Anu is still innocent. Don’t you know that she got frisky at that party she snuck out to in the middle of the night, remember?----In fact, she was around your age too when she lost her flower. So cool it okay? She’s a big girl now. Not so smart, I agree, but she’s bigger.

Jigs

p.s. Why the hell not?! Do you want your pregnant sister to get down on her knees and beg you? Is that what you want?----You’re so bloody cruel.
__________________________________________________________________________________

To: Jigyasa Bali <jiggypoo@hotmail.com

Fr: Jai Walia <jaiwalia_101@gmail.com

Re: The little hippie

She did not lose her virginity at sixteen. You are kidding me. Right? Please tell me that you are joking.

And the damned airline doesn’t have to know that I’m using my blackberry. Besides, we haven’t crashed yet----I hardly think it’s as harming as they make it out to be.

Jai

p.s. Tell me his name, Jigs, or I’ll tell Adi just how much fun you really had at your bachelorette party.
__________________________________________________________________________________

To: Jai Walia <jaiwalia_101@gmail.com

Fr: Jigyasa Bali <jiggypoo@hotmail.com

Re: The little hippie

Dr. Vikram Gupta. You happy now, bastard? Don’t tell Anu that I told you.

Jigs

p.s. I’m not joking.

__________________________________________________________________________________

To: Anu Walia <flyinggirl@yahoo.com

Fr: Jai Walia <jaiwalia_101@gmail.com

Subject: You are so dead

Along with that son of a bitch Dr. Vikram Gupta.

Jai
__________________________________________________________________________________

To: Vikram Gupta <vikgupta@gmail.com

Fr: Anu Walia <flyinggirl@yahoo.com

Subject: Problem

Vik, serious problem. My brother sorta kinda knows about what went on between us in the supply room. If I was you, I’d switch cases or take the day off. Actually take the whole week off. Or you know, transferring to a different hospital would be the best option for you now.

Your sexy fox,

Anu
__________________________________________________________________________________

To: Anu Walia <flyinggirl@yahoo.com

Fr: Vikram Gupta <vikgupta@gmail.com

Re: problem

What do you mean your brother knows what happened? He was passed out cold---and not to mention unable to move from his bed because he’s paralyzed---how the fuck did he find out?

Vik

p.s. Did you really mean what you said about my tush?
__________________________________________________________________________________

To: Vikram Gupta <vikgupta@gmail.com

Fr: Anu Walia <flyinggirl@yahoo.com

Re: Problem

Not him, my other brother.

Anu

p.s. Oh yeah.

__________________________________________________________________________________

To: Rano Sharma <sharmagirl@hotmail.com

Fr: Bani Dixit <freebirdy@yahoo.com

Subject: Come on

It wasn’t that bad. Really. I think you over exaggerate about Ranveer’s parents. They’re truly wonderful. And Sharma Uncle was just kidding----you took it too personally.

Bani

p.s. Dinner was delicious. Where’d you order it from? And how the hell did you sneak it in by the in-laws?
__________________________________________________________________________________

To: Bani Dixit <freebirdy@yahoo.com

Fr: Rano Sharma <sharmagirl@hotmail.com

Re: Come on

It was terrible. I do not over exaggerate. And he called me FAT!!! How do I not take it personally?!

Rano

p.s. Why do you assume that I ordered it?! Am I not capable of making delicious food?!
__________________________________________________________________________________

To: Rano Sharma <sharmagirl@hotmail.com

Fr: Bani Dixit <freebirdy@yahoo.com

Re: Come on

It so wasn’t terrible. I had fun! We all had a good time and shared some good laughs. You’re the only one who was too stubborn to enjoy. And he DIDN’T call you fat!

Bani

p.s. Rano, please. Who are you trying to fool?

__________________________________________________________________________________

To: Bani Dixit <freebirdy@yahoo.com

Fr: Rano Sharma <sharmagirl@hotmail.com

Re: Come on

I believe his exact words were “Whoa there Rano, at the rate you’re eating, we’d have to get you a bigger seat”. He blatantly said in front of everyone that I’m fat or at least getting fat. So excuse me if I took it as an offense.  

Rano

p.s. God fine, I got it from Addi’s Tandoor. And it was easy, I made Ranveer take his parents outside for a walk saying that it was a wonderful weather while the delivery boy came by and I got rid of all the boxes before they got back.
__________________________________________________________________________________

To: Rano Sharma <sharmagirl@hotmail.com

Fr: Bani Dixit <freebirdy@yahoo.com

Re: Come on

Well of course you’re going to gain weight, Rano, you’re pregnant for god’s sakes!

Bani

p.s. You little sneak.
__________________________________________________________________________________




Part Six: 

To: Jai Walia <jaiwalia_101@gmail.com

Fr: Krishna Walia <krishnawalia@yahoo.com

Subject: This evening

Jai,

Unlike the rest of your family members, I for one did not find your prank amusing. You know how your brother gets around flowers and yet you brought him those daises. And do not give me the excuse that you did not know. Having lived with your brother for years, I find it hard to believe that you were not aware of his allergy considering that you often left flowers on your brother’s pillow for the pleasure of tormenting him. Seriously Jai, when will you learn that your behavior is simply immature? You are thirty-three now yet you continue to behave like a three-year old. I expected that living abroad for so many years would change you, but then again, I was wrong like always when concerning you.

Your mother,
Krishna Walia

p.s. You are lucky that Dr. Gupta isn’t going to sue after what you pulled today. What were you thinking attacking a doctor like that? And for what reasons, may I ask?
_________________________________________________________________________________

To: Jai Walia <jaiwalia_101@gmail.com

Fr: Aditya Bali <adityabali@gmail.com

Subject: Today

Hey man, let me say again that it was great seeing you after so long. It’s been months since we’ve last seen you. The girls were real happy with their presents so thanks for that. But I don’t think Jigyasa appreciates it much that you got them an easy bake oven----it just puts more work on her to clean after them (that’s her complaint, not mine).

And can I just ask----where the hell did that punch come from? What were you thinking? You could have gotten a lawsuit on your hands. And no offense, you don’t have the money to compensate for it. Also taking into consideration of your relationship with your parents, I hardly think they’d be willing to pay for it.

Adi

p.s. Cricket match at my place? Or have those Americans brainwashed you into football instead?
_________________________________________________________________________________

To: Jai Walia <jaiwalia_101@gmail.com

Fr: Jigyasa Bali <jiggypoo@hotmail.com

Subject: Doctor with the nice tush

Well way to go. Anu can’t stop crying now. She’s whining about how you’ve ruined her chances of marrying the rich doctor (she’s delusional if she thinks that just because they messed around a little bit, they’re going to get married). And she says that she absolutely hates you. But that’s okay, I was always your favorite sister anyway. Is she really going to be a loss? (Don’t tell her that I said that)

Dr. Gupta has pulled himself out of the case---so thanks a lot. Now you’ve driven away my eye candy. He was the only reason why I even come to the hospital to see Tarun in the first place. (Chill out, I didn’t have plans to get naughty with the guy like our hippie sister did. Besides, I doubt he’d want to get with a married, six-month pregnant woman anyways. That’d totally complicate things.)

As for what you did to Tarun, I’m pretty sure that act alone is cutting you out of the family portrait so you can finally congratulate yourself. Wanna celebrate at my house tomorrow over dinner? The girls want to see their favorite uncle again and I need my black sheep of a brother around to keep Ma from keeping her word of moving in tomorrow. You’ll do at least that much for your big sis, won’t you?

Jigs        

p.s. You look great now that you shave on a regular basis (I understand that women dug that whole scruffy look, but it’s nice to see your actual face now) And boy is my brother getting handsomer with age! Thank your stars that you took after Daddy and not Ma---Tarun being a prime example of Ma’s horrible genes.
_________________________________________________________________________________

To: Aditya Bali <adityabali@gmail.com

Fr: Jigyasa Bali <jiggypoo@yahoo.com

Subject: Emergency!

Sweetie, will you get me more ice cream? And this time the mint chocolate chip? I’m getting a little tired of the Rocky Road.

Love you,

Your Jiggy Poo
_________________________________________________________________________________

To: Jigyasa Bali <jiggypoo@yahoo.com

Fr: Aditya Bali <adityabali@gmail.com

Re: Emergency!

Are you serious, Jigyasa? You are emailing me when we are under the same roof? And I think you are seriously mistaken about what I meant by emergency. Now knock it off, I’ve got work to do. Money doesn’t just rain from the sky, you know. Your husband actually has to work for it.

Adi

p.s. Where do you suppose I am to get mint chocolate chip at this hour anyway?
_________________________________________________________________________________

To: Aditya Bali <adityabali@gmail.com

Fr: Jigyasa Bali <jiggypoo@yahoo.com

Re: Emergency!

THIS IS AN EMERGENCY YOU INSENSITIVE JERK! I AM SIX MONTHS PREGNANT WITH YOUR CHILD WHO IS HELL BENT ON GIVING ME A HARD TIME BY KICKING MY RIBS CONTINOUSLY AND YOU ARE WORRIED ABOUT YOUR STUPID WORK?!!! IF I DON’T GET MY ICE CREAM IN FIFTEEN MINUTES, I AM GOING TO SCREAM BLOODY MURDER AND WAKE UP ALL THE NEIGHBORS! SO YOU GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASS, ADITYA BALI, MARCH TO THE CAR, AND PICK ME UP SOME DAMN MINT CHOCOLATE CHIP ICE CREAM! I DON’T CARE WHERE YOU GET IT FROM, JUST GET IT! GOT IT?!

Love you,

Jigs
_________________________________________________________________________________

To: Jai Walia <jaiwalia_101@gmail.com

Fr: Uday Walia <udaywalia@gmail.com

Subject: Business

Jai,

I’m glad that you understood the matter at hand and are willing to take your brother’s place for some time till he gets well. I know that this will interfere with your own work, but the family business needs you now. You always had a knack for business, you are an intelligent man (brighter than that dimwit brother of yours anyway), which is why I was disappointed by the career path you had chosen, but I’ve learnt to deal with it. And don’t worry; you will earn the exact income that your brother does. You are after all going to be running WGI in his absence. I trust you know how to handle things on your own. Do not listen to what your mother says, you are a capable man. She is just too far up Tarun’s ass to see that.

Your father,

Uday Walia

p.s. I hope you’re not depending on your mother and me to take care of that lawsuit you single handedly are responsible for if the doctor decides to sue.
_________________________________________________________________________________

To: Jai Walia <jaiwalia_101@gmail.com

Fr: Anu Walia <flyinggirl@yahoo.com

Subject: I hope you’re happy

Because I’m not. Vik says he never wants to speak to me again all thanks to you. What were you thinking when you punched him? I love him! You had no right to hit him. What me and Vik do is none of your business!

Anu

p.s. I hate you.
_________________________________________________________________________________

To: Vikram Gupta <vikgupta@gmail.com

Fr: Anu Walia <flyinggirl@yahoo.com

Subject: Vik, please

I’ve already apologized for what my brother did. And you can’t say that I didn’t warn you. I told you many times, but were you willing to listen?

Please stop ignoring me. Are you just going to throw away what we shared like it was nothing? You know it wasn’t nothing just as much as I know it.

Besides, the punch wasn’t so bad. I mean, it’s not like he’s disfigured your face. What do you have to be so iffy about? I can make it up to you if you want.

Love,

Anu

p.s. Call me.
_________________________________________________________________________________

To: Uday Walia <udaywalia@gmail.com

Fr: Krishna Walia <krishnawalia@yahoo.com

Subject: You are unbelievable

You just can’t wait one second to get away, can you? You got out of jail not even a week and the first place you go to is Vijay’s? And now when your son is critically ill and practically on his death bed, instead of being with your loved ones, once again you’ve fled off to that damned man’s house. I’ve had enough of your indifference, Uday. I’m your wife and the mother of your children. I resent this treatment of yours. It’s high time that you stop running off every chance you get and be with your family for a change.

Your wife,

Krishna Walia

p.s. You can say goodbye to your precious sofa chair if you spend another night at Vijay’s.
_________________________________________________________________________________

To: Krishna Walia <krishnawalia@yahoo.com

Fr: Uday Walia <udaywalia@gmail.com

Re: You are unbelievable

Your precious son isn’t on the death bed. So quit it with the unnecessary drama, Krishna. I’m frankly tired of it and of you for the matter. You would think jail would be the most miserable time for a man but I found peace since I was away from your damned nagging. So bug off and go schedule another botox appointment. I saw a wrinkle today.  

Your husband,

Uday Walia

p.s. You do that and your favorite pearl earrings are going down the toilet. Oh and don’t even bother hiding them. I’m going to find them either way.
_________________________________________________________________________________

To: Krishna Walia <krishnawalia@yahoo.com

Fr: Jai Walia <jaiwalia_101@gmail.com

Re: This evening

What can I say? Once a disappointment, always a disappointment.

Your three-year old son,

Jai
_________________________________________________________________________________

To: Aditya Bali <adityabali@gmail.com

Fr: Jai Walia <jaiwalia_101@gmail.com

Re: Today

No offense taken. And I guess I did kinda luck out that he didn’t press charges. But whatever, if given the chance, I’d punch him again.

Jai

p.s. And none of that prejudice of yours against my people, alright? Cricket sounds good. Even though I do prefer football better.
_________________________________________________________________________________

To: Jigyasa Bali <jiggypoo@hotmail.com

Fr: Jai Walia <jaiwalia_101@gmail.com

Re: Doctor with a nice tush

Give her a couple of days and she’ll bounce right back. You know her. Some other guy will hold her interest. I just hope it’s someone near her age. I can’t go beating older, pervert doctors all the time, now can I?

And really Jigs----checking out the very pervert who had his bug eyes on our little sister? That is wrong on so many levels.

You really think I’m out of the portrait for good? After all these years my hard work has finally paid off. And boy do I ever want to celebrate. I’m making a damned speech too. Make sure you invite the rest of our family and especially Ma, I want her to be the guest of honor.

Jai

p.s. You swear that the most they did was kiss? Nothing more, right? I don’t have to go back looking for him, do I?
_________________________________________________________________________________

To: Anu Walia <flyinggirl@yahoo.com

Fr: Jai Walia <jaiwalia_101@gmail.com

Re: I hope you’re happy

You’re a romantic fool, Anu, if you think you’re in love with this guy and that he loves you back. Let me tell you a fact about men----all they want is sex. And after they get that, they leave you to go chase after some other tail. I did you a favor.

Jai
_________________________________________________________________________________

To: Anu Walia <flyinggirl@yahoo.com

Fr: Vikram Gupta <vikgupta@gmail.com

Re: Vik, please

He broke my nose and jaw----I lost a tooth dammit! A PERMANENT tooth! I have to get a fake tooth put in now all because of your damned brother!

So as an answer to your pleas, no, I never want to see you again. Besides, you’re not my type.

Vik
_________________________________________________________________________________

To: Jai Walia <jaiwalia_101@gmail.com

Fr: Anu Walia <flyinggirl@yahoo.com

Subject: Vikram Radhe Gupta

He has a break in between surgeries at 3 in the afternoon. He’ll be in his office---number 2407. And don’t worry about getting a lawsuit on your hands this time around, he wouldn’t dare. Or else he has a lot of explaining to do to his wife and kid.

Anu

p.s. I don’t hate you.  
_________________________________________________________________________________

To: Anu Walia <flyinggirl@yahoo.com

Fr: Jai Walia <jaiwalia_101@gmail.com

Re: Vikram Radhe Gupta

Christ Anu, he is married? What the hell is wrong with you!

And I don’t even want to know why you knew about his break in the first place. But I’ll be there.

Jai
_________________________________________________________________________________

To: Annalise White <annalise.white@thenyjournal.com

Fr: Jai Walia <jai.walia@thenyjournal.com

Subject: Extension

Hey Beautiful,

I need a favor. You probably already heard from Kevin about my week leave since my brother is ill and I had to make a trip to see him. Well it seems it’s going to take a while for him to recover and a situation has risen. Can’t desert my family when they need me, right? So I’m asking for an extension on my leave. Maybe up to a month at least? You understand, don’t you?

Let me know.

Jai
_________________________________________________________________________________

To: Uday Walia <udaywalia@gmail.com

Fr: Krishna Walia <krishnawalia@yahoo.com

Subject: The business

Uday,

What you had suggested at dinner is preposterous. How could you even ask Jai to take his brother’s place in the company? He will crash and burn Walia Group of Industries down to the ground. How could you entrust the business to him? Have you forgotten that he is just a low, small-time reporter? What would he know about taking charge of such a grand industry?

I think your track of thinking has gone down the gutter after having rotten in prison for nine years. You call up Aditya right now and tell him that he will take over until Tarun recovers.

Krishna Walia
_________________________________________________________________________________

To: Krishna Walia <krishnawalia@yahoo.com

Fr: Uday Walia <udaywalia@gmail.com

Re: The business

It wasn’t a suggestion, Krishna. It’s my final decision. And no one, let alone you, is going to change my mind. And have you forgotten that our son had completed his MBA? It was only after then that he chose to become a journalist (not reporter) in order to spite us---particularly you.  

I would take your opinion far more seriously if you actually gave a damn about the business. All you ever do is blow off my hard-earned money on your stupid appointments so you can look like someone you are clearly not. You’re sixty-four, Krishna. Deal with it.

And are you insane? Aditya has his own business to worry about. You can’t expect him to step in.

Uday Walia
_________________________________________________________________________________

To: Jai Walia <jaiwalia_101@gmail.com

Fr: Jigyasa Bali <jiggypoo@hotmail.com

Subject: Family dinner

I for one loved your speech. I thought it was perfect for the occasion. And be grateful that I managed to get her away from Tarun for a good couple of hours so she could be the guest of honor. I don’t think she took your digs at her well though. Did you see how tight lipped she was the whole time? Oh and can’t forget when her whole face got red with anger when Dad announced you’re going to be stepping in Tarun’s shoes for some time. I seriously thought she’d throw the butter knife at Daddy.

And thanks sooooo much that you decided to come! Your presence alone completely changed Ma’s decision of moving in. She told me later before leaving that she thought I’ll be fine on my own and there’s always Aditya to look after me. I think she knows that you’re going to be around more often so keeping away is the only way to avoid you. I so owe you for this.

Jigs

p.s. She’s lying. She’s so planning on cutting you out of the portrait. Anu told me that Ma called up the photographer yesterday and talked about it. So don’t worry, you’re definitely out. :) 
_________________________________________________________________________________

To: Jai Walia <jaiwalia_101@gmail.com

Fr: Aditya Bali <adityabali@gmail.com

Subject: Today’s dinner

Good one with the speech. I wish I had a camera and taken a picture of your mother’s face---especially when your father told everyone that you’re taking Tarun’s place in the business. I’m sure she was debating whether to plunge the knife in her hand into Dad’s chest. You know with how he’s letting you take Tarun’s “rightful” place and all.

Adi

p.s. It’s no fun watching cricket with you anymore. You’re too damned Americanized.
_________________________________________________________________________________

To: Jai Walia <jaiwalia_101@gmail.com

Fr: Anu Walia <flyinggirl@yahoo.com

Subject: Dinner

It’s official. I saw Ma examining the portrait and wondering from what angle you should be cut off so it won’t look obvious that there’s something amiss or SOMEONE in particular amiss.

I loved your speech by the way. Totally made it worth coming to the dinner after all.

Anu

p.s. I saw Vik today and had the pleasure of seeing the left side of his face bruised. I'd love to know how he's going to explain that to his wife. He of course ran off when he saw me like a little scared girl. And to think I thought he was so macho. Anyways, I so love you! You’re the best big brother ever!
_________________________________________________________________________________

To: Jai Walia <jaiwalia_101@gmail.com

Fr: Krishna Walia <krishnawalia@yahoo.com

Subject: Your little speech

If you wanted yourself out of that portrait so much, you should have just told me instead of making such a spectacle in front of the whole family. I would have done that favor years ago.

Krishna Walia
_________________________________________________________________________________

To: Uday Walia <udaywalia@gmail.com

Fr: Tarun Walia <TarunWalia@gmail.com

Subject: Jai

Father, I hardly count Jai as a reliable man to handle the business in my absence. It's insane really to suggest first of all. What does he know is what I want to ask? I've been CEO for the last nine years and WGI hasn't ever seen greater success under my authority. I should have a say in who will be handling my company.

As it is, he never cared for our family in the first place. Why do you expect he'd care for the family business? He was always a disappointment Dad, nothing's changed about him now.

Tarun
_________________________________________________________________________________

To: Tarun Walia <TarunWalia@gmail.com

Fr: Uday Walia <udaywalia@gmail.com

Re: Jai

I'm assuming your mother told you about my decision. Figures. The woman can't keep her mouth shut to save her life. Well Tarun, all I have to say to you is to quit it with your sissy whining and get over yourself. I don't particularly give a damn what you or your mother think. WGI is and always has been my company and I am making Jai in charge so learn to deal with it.

Your father,

Uday

p.s. How in the world are you writing this email to me?
_________________________________________________________________________________

To: Jai Walia <jaiwalia_101@gmail.com

Fr: Tarun Walia <TarunWalia@gmail.com

Subject: WGI

Listen to me you little fuckhead. If you dare do any funny business while acting in MY place in MY company, I swear to god I’ll finish you off. I’ll wring your stupid little neck and bash your head open. Got it?

Tarun

p.s. I should have known you’d attack me when I’m most vulnerable. You’re a real bastard for bringing those daisies yesterday when you know I’m allergic.
_________________________________________________________________________________

To: Tarun Walia <TarunWalia@gmail.com

Fr: Jai Walia <jaiwalia_101@gmail.com

Re: WGI

So pretty much, you’ll do no harm to me at all? Who are you trying to fool, Tarun? You are incapable of causing any physical injury just as much as you are incompetent to please any lover of yours, i.e., your long list of ex-girlfriends.

Your bastard of a brother,

Jai

p.s. How the hell are you even writing this to me? Aren’t you supposed to be paralyzed?
_________________________________________________________________________________

To: Jai Walia <jaiwalia_101@gmail.com

Fr: Tarun Walia <TarunWalia@gmail.com

Re: WGI

Go fuck yourself.

Tarun
_________________________________________________________________________________

To: Tarun Walia <TarunWalia@gmail.com

Fr: Jai Walia <jaiwalia_101@gmail.com

Re: WGI

Your brotherly love touches my heart sometimes.

Jai
_________________________________________________________________________________

To: Pia Chopra <ms.chopra@yahoo.com

Fr: Tarun Walia <TarunWalia@gmail.com

Subject: My brother

Pia Darling,

I’m going to need you to keep a close eye on my brother. He absolutely hates me and will do anything to make my life miserable and I fear that the company is at risk now that he’s going to be taking over. He’s joining the office on Monday itself. I can count on you, can’t I?

Your snookie lips,
Tarun

p.s. I apologize for my family. They are a bunch of lunatics. I hope they didn't trouble you too much?

p.p.s. If you’re wondering, I’ve paid a nurse to write this all down for me. I am still unfortunately paralyzed on my left side.
_________________________________________________________________________________

To: Tarun Walia <TarunWalia@gmail.com

Fr: Pia Chopra <ms.chopra@yahoo.com

Re: My brother

Of course. You can always count on me, darling. I’ll look after him, don’t worry.

Your poo bear,

Pia

p.s. Your family was charming. Really, no trouble at all.

p.p.s. Poor baby, don’t worry, the paralysis will be gone in some time.
_________________________________________________________________________________

To: Meera Khandelwal <meera4u@hotmail.com

Fr: Pia Chopra <ms.chopra@yahoo.com

Subject: Tarun’s brother

God, my only escape from these damned Walias is ruined. Tarun’s younger brother is joining the office on Monday. I haven’t met him yet, but I hear he’s positively awful from Tarun. And I’m not doubting his words since the rest of his family are absolute psychos. Now I have to babysit him to make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid while in charge. Seriously, the things I have to do in order to get a ring on my finger.

Pia

p.s. Care to join me in getting a manicure and pedicure tomorrow? I need to be pampered after the ordeal I’ve been through. Let me know by tomorrow morning. I’m going to catch up on my sleep now. 

_________________________________________________________________________________



Part Seven: 

To: Rano Sharma <sharmagirl@hotmail.com

Fr: Bani Dixit <freebirdy@yahoo.com

Subject: Rise and shine sunshine!

It’s great weather outside! Come on, let’s enjoy the Sunday morning and go jogging together. It’ll be so refreshing!

Bani
_______________________________________________________________________________

To: Bani Dixit <freebirdy@yahoo.com

Fr: Rano Sharma <sharmagirl@hotmail.com

Re: Rise and shine sunshine!

You’re crazy if you think that I’m going to go jogging on a Sunday morning instead of staying in bed and eating yummy pancakes.

Rano
_______________________________________________________________________________

To: Rano Sharma <sharmagirl@hotmail.com

Fr: Bani Dixit <freebirdy@yahoo.com

Re: Rise and shine sunshine!

Rano, stop being a bum! Besides, jogging and staying fit will be good for the baby!

Bani

p.s. I’ll reward you afterwards.
______________________________________________________________________________

To: Bani Dixit <freebirdy@yahoo.com

Fr: Rano Sharma <sharmagirl@hotmail.com

Re: Rise and shine sunshine!

Actually, eating yummy pancakes and getting fat will be good for the baby. So no, I’m not going.

Rano

p.s. What kind of reward?
______________________________________________________________________________

To: Rano Sharma <sharmagirl@hotmail.com

Fr: Bani Dixit <freebirdy@yahoo.com

Re: Rise and shine sunshine!

Your favorite blue berry muffin from Starbucks ;)

Bani

______________________________________________________________________________

To: Bani Dixit <freebirdy@yahoo.com

Fr: Rano Sharma <sharmagirl@hotmail.com

Re: Rise and shine sunshine!

As tempting as that sounds, I’m still going to say no.

Rano
_____________________________________________________________________________

To: Ranveer Sharma <rsharma_01@gmail.com

Fr: Bani Dixit <freebirdy@yahoo.com

Subject: Your lazy wife

What do I have to do so you can convince Rano to come out jogging with me?

Bani
____________________________________________________________________________

To: Bani Dixit <freebirdy@yahoo.com

Fr: Ranveer Sharma <rsharma_01@gmail.com

Re: Your lazy wife

Take my parents out tonight for a movie and dinner. I’ll give you the money to pay for it all. I’ve been dying for some alone time with Rano.

Ranveer

_____________________________________________________________________________

To: Ranveer Sharma <rsharma_01@gmail.com

Fr: Bani Dixit <freebirdy@yahoo.com

Re: Your lazy wife

Deal. But how will you convince her?

Bani
__________________________________________________________________________

To: Bani Dixit <freebirdy@yahoo.com

Fr: Ranveer Sharma <rsharma_01@gmail.com

Re: Your lazy wife

I’ll go wake up my parents. She’ll come running out on her own in no time.

Ranveer
__________________________________________________________________________

To: Bani Dixit <bani.dixit@wgi.com

Fr: Tarun Walia <tarunwalia@wgi.com

Subject: My Replacement

Rani, my brother is going to be joining the office on Monday to take over while I’m gone. Do what you have to in order to let him know how things are done there. You may be working for him for the time being, but you still report to me, got it? I want to be informed about everything that is going on in my absence. Nothing should happen without my knowledge or approval.

TW

Tarun Walia, Chief Executive Officer

Walia Group of Industries

Sahar Road, Shakala, Andheri (East)

Mumbai (Bombay) 400 009. India.
________________________________________________________________________

To: Jai Walia <jaiwalia_101@gmail.com

Fr: Aditya Bali <adityabali@gmail.com

Subject: Tomorrow

Make sure you don’t end up crashing and burning WGI down to the ground no matter how tempted you get. And good luck with the new job tomorrow.

Adi
_______________________________________________________________________

To: Aditya Bali <adityabali@gmail.com

Fr: Jai Walia <jaiwalia_101@gmail.com

Re: Tomorrow

I’ll try not to.

Jai

p.s. You think Tarun and Miz Chopra ever decided to get naughty on his desk? Because if that’s the case, I’m getting myself a new one. I’m not taking my chances.
______________________________________________________________________

To: Jai Walia <jai.walia@thenyjournal.com

Fr: Annalise White <annalise.white@thenyjournal.com

Re: Extension

Hey Handsome,

Of course I miss you. Didn’t know how I’d make it through a whole week without seeing your charming face, now you want a whole month off? You’re lucky I adore you so much. I’ll talk to Kevin about it first thing tomorrow morning and make sure you get the leave. You let me handle it. ;)

Anna
______________________________________________________________________

To: Rano Sharma <sharmagirl@hotmail.com

Fr: Bani Dixit <freebirdy@yahoo.com

Subject: See it wasn’t so

bad, was it? Imagine the beautiful morning you would have missed out on if you stayed in.

Bani

p.s. I’ll get you your muffin tomorrow alright? Now quit bugging me for it. Geez, you really don’t let go of things, do you?

p.p.s. I just got an email from the Bull. He told me that his brother is going to take his place starting tomorrow! Heeeeeeeeeeeeee, I hope he’s not as horrid as Mr. Walia! Or turns out to be worse than the Bull himself!
___________________________________________________________________

To: Bani Dixit <freebirdy@yahoo.com

Fr: Rano Sharma <sharmagirl@hotmail.com

Re: See it wasn’t so

I deserve my damned muffin after all that jogging you put me through. You’d think you’d go soft on me considering that I’m PREGNANT!!!

Rano

p.s. Can I come over your house tonight? I need some brief escape before I officially become insane.

p.p.s. Didn’t you tell me that his brother was this small-time reporter? Why the hell would he be put in charge?
____________________________________________________________________

To: Rano Sharma <sharmagirl@hotmail.com

Fr: Bani Dixit <freebirdy@yahoo.com

Re: See it wasn’t so

I guess he’s the best next candidate for the job in the family. Or maybe the only one. I hope at least he’ll get my name right.

Bani

p.s. Sorry, no can do. I’ve made plans to take your in-laws out for a movie and dinner. You know, as a little welcome to the city sort of thing.
________________________________________________________________________

To: Annalise White <annalise.white@thenyjournal.com

Fr: Jai Walia <jai.walia@thenyjournal.com

Re: Extension

You’re amazing. Thanks.

Jai
________________________________________________________________________

To: Tarun Walia <tarun.walia@wgi.com

Fr: Bani Dixit <bani.dixit@wgi.com

Re: My Replacement

I understand, sir. I hope your recovery is going well.

Bani
____________________________________________________________________

To: Jai Walia <jaiwalia_101@gmail.com

Fr: Jigyasa Bali <jiggypoo@hotmail.com

Subject: Your big break!

Oh my gosh! I’m so excited! My little brother’s first day as the big guy calling all the shots! Make sure you take lots of pictures! I want to see how my brother looks as the CEO of WGI! And make sure you behave mister and don’t have any naughty office affairs, particularly with your now assistant!

Hugs and Kisses,

Jigs
______________________________________________________________________

To: Jai Walia <jaiwalia_101@gmail.com

Fr: Aditya Bali <adityabali@gmail.com

Subject: Job of the day

Make sure you don’t screw things up. Don’t think that just because Tarun’s paralyzed, he won’t have his ways of keeping a close watch over you. Miz Chopra being his main source of information of course. I hear he’s also got his personal assistant reporting back to him on your every move. Just watch your back, man.

Adi
_________________________________________________________________________

To: Jai Walia <jaiwalia_101@gmail.com

Fr: Tarun Walia <TarunWalia@gmail.com

Subject: WGI

Jai, I swear to god, if you fuck things up for me, you’re a dead man. Don’t take this threat lightly; I do happen to know some guys who can easily have this done for me.  

Tarun
________________________________________________________________________

To: Jigyasa Bali <jiggypoo@yahoo.com

Fr: Jai Walia <jaiwalia_101@gmail.com

Re: Your big break!

You were kidding about the whole affair thing, right? I’m not as desperate as your other brother for female attention to seduce Mrs. Briganza, dad’s fifty-something old personal assistant. Mrs. Briganza is a lovely woman, but not so lovely enough for me to indulge into a steamy love affair with her. Besides, I don’t want to be anyone’s mistress. It’d make me feel very dirty about myself.

By the way, you are way too excited about all of this. It’s just a job, Jigs. This is an indignation that you need to go find a hobby to keep yourself entertained.

Love,

Jai

p.s. I’m not setting a good impression of myself if I’m running thirty minutes late on the first day of the job, am I?
_________________________________________________________________________

To: Aditya Bali <adityabali@gmail.com

Fr: Jai Walia <jaiwalia_101@gmail.com

Re: Job of the day

His assistant is hardly a threat. She’s just an old, wheezing hag who really needs to retire already. No offense to Mrs. Briganza, but she’s seen better days.

Jai
_________________________________________________________________________

To: Tarun Walia <TarunWalia@gmail.com

Fr: Jai Walia <jaiwalia_101@gmail.com

Re: WGI

I wonder how our mother is going to feel about this when I tell her that her precious son has connections with the underworld. I guess I should start calling you, Tarun Bhai, shouldn’t I?

Jai

___________________________________________________________________________