Welcome to the JB Fanfiction Corner!

Welcome to the JB Fanfiction Corner where you will hopefully find stories to your liking! I would love for you to enjoy them as I love to write them! The characters Jai Walia and Bani Dixit have inspired me so much, and continue to, that I can't ever seem to stop writing about them. So many different storylines come to mind that I always want to jot them down. I hope to gain an audience through this blog in order to express the creativity in me. And I thank you all for the kind support. I will try my very best to entertain. Enjoy!

Monday, December 31, 2012

SS: What the Heart Wants ...Chapter 4 [Jan. 31st, 2013]


Hi all, I realize how long it's been since I've given any of you anything to read! I really do apologize for that--I just got caught up in a lot of things. I'm trying my best to work on some updates for my current stories, especially Incomplete Life. My goal is to post an update by the end of this week the latest. But in the meantime, I wanted to put up a short story that I've been working on for a while now to keep you entertained while I work on the other updates. I really would love feedback to know what you all think!

Also, a very Happy New Year! Hope 2013 is great for all of you and your families! 



What the Heart Wants


“Look Rathore, the project is already falling behind the deadline… two months in fact. I am not going to tolerate this unprofessionalism any longer, do you hear me? Either get your act together or consider yourself officially removed,” the man issues ominously, gripping hard onto the cell phone placed on his ear.

She watches the deep scowl marring his relatively attractive face, distorting its features considerably. His black polished shoes pace across the balcony attached to their master bedroom, overlooking the view of the spacious garden. She fiddles with the pallu to her fitted saree, making the curves to her body visible. The bangles adorned on her wrists tinkle as she does this. Her wide hazelnut eyes stare at the pacing man, quickly slipping into one of his usual foul moods. Biting down on her lower lip, she wonders if now is the right time to approach him or instead leave and come during another.

“I don’t want to hear any of your damn excuses--it’s not going to cut it this time, understand?” he barks into the speaker piece of the device. He slips into a momentary silence, listening to the speaker on the other side. He kneads his eyebrows together, his fingers pressing against one his temples.

“No, what I want for you to----hang on, dammit,” he curses loudly before withdrawing his attention onto her. His dark molten eyes glare hard at her from the distance, landing on her place by the French doors of the balcony.  

“Will you stop it with that irritating sound already?” he snaps to her, quickly putting a cease to the chiming of her bangles. Her fingers come to a complete still, letting loose of the pallu from its hold. She nearly jumps in her place from his unexpected shout.

“… W-woh…woh main…,” she stutters fearfully, unnerved underneath his cold staring.

His gaze narrows, growing into a glower.

“What, you have forgotten to speak? Spit it out already, I don’t have all day,” he snarls, making her blink back tears from his rudeness.

“Woh… mummyji aaye hai… woh aapse milna chaate hai..,” she replies timidly, lowering her eyes to the floor demurely. He swears more, causing her to flinch from his vulgar words.

“Fine, I’ll be there. Now get lost,” he orders then returns his focus onto the call, hastily exchanging his next angered words to his employee.

“Get back to the site and see to that everything goes right. I don’t want another single thing to go wrong else it will be your sorry ass on the line, got it?!”

She feels all sorts of rejection at that precise moment. She doesn't understand how to deal with the strong blown given to her. Rather than to sulk about it there, she decides to adhere to his command and flee from there before he insults her more.

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“Ah, I was starting to think you weren't going to show today,” he says in the rich voice of his she has grown rather fond of these past few months. He flashes a boyish grin, showcasing his perfectly white teeth, the one that usually uplifts her dampened spirits. But not today as she carries a heavy burden weighing her down progressively each day… as it has for the past couple of years.

She can see from her peripheral vision how his dark eyes observe her when she seats herself down on the bench, beside him, not caring to look his way. She directs her gaze to the children who flutter about the playground in front.

“You have not brought Anshu with you today?” he inquires, his tone lowering when noticing her crestfallen expression.

She does not answer, her wide eyes continuing to stare at the scene before her as if in a trance….seeming so far away despite being near. She is startled, though, when feeling the touch of his warm hand clasping hers that rests on the empty space between their seated positions. She turns, her troubled eyes clashing with his tranquil ones. Not knowing why, but a particular emotion rises when taking in the concern etched on his painfully handsome face, even shining in those pools of gray. She feels the sudden need to cry by it.

“Something is troubling you… Tell me, what is it?” he murmurs to her when realizing she is gravely distressed for whatever reasons. She reluctantly pulls her hand from his warm touch when comprehending the intimate contact and the way he speaks to her…almost taking the voice of a lover rather than a friend. Her heart skids on the thought.

“…Is it about him?” he puts across softly, his intent gaze fixed on her. Her stubborn silence answers him. He withdraws, placing his back against the support of the bench, and slips into a silence of his own. It is only after a long moment passes between them that she finally gains the courage to speak…

“I am sorry for always dumping this on you,” she says in remorse, her broken voice coming out as a mere whisper. She is surprised that he can hear the barely audible words and is further startled when his sturdy fingers take a hold of her chin, lifting it so her lowered gaze can meet his eyes that look to her tenderly. Her own eyes look back at him, curious of his actions.

“Hey… what do I always tell Krishna when she is upset?” he asks in his smooth voice. Her hazel orbs simply continue to stare at him in question, causing the sides of his mouth to curve into a smile.

“Close your eyes…,” he tells her. Instead of listening, she blinks dumbly at him, evoking a soft chuckle to escape his lips. “Come on, do it,” he urges for her obedience. Deciding to follow his words, she does as told. Her eyelids close shut and she listens for his next instruction.

“Now… try and recollect anything you can remember… where you were happy... and imagine you are there right now… reliving through that memory,” he finishes.  

She adheres to his soft-spoken words and scrambles through her mind for any memory she cherishes... where she was happy… where no sorrow or emptiness overshadowed her.

What she comes across surprises her and her eyelids open immediately only to stare back into the depths of his warm, glistening eyes……


“It’s a nice little place, isn’t it?” he asks out of the blue, drawing her attention directly onto him, seated a few spaces away from her on the same bench. 

She does not answer, not knowing what to say to the stranger who has suddenly decided to speak to her. She is taken aback when his gray eyes look to her so intensely making her slip into a state of speechlessness and instead drown into the depths of them…

“I come here often with my daughter… I get a peace of mind here while she exerts herself of all that energy she always seems to have… The park is the only place I can get her to release it and calm down afterwards… Otherwise she continues to be on a sugar high for the rest of the day,” he continues in explaining with a smile. She listens, not knowing what else but to do so. She offers no words back to him, though.

“If you do not believe me, look at her now… She is the one swinging on the bars and screeching like a prancing monkey on the loose…,” he points out, directing her attention to the playground. She follows his outstretched hand pointing to one of the little children. She locates the young girl swinging high on the bars in a comical manner and bellowing noises that fits her father’s description… a monkey.

She finds herself unwillingly smiling from the cute sight and gradually breaking into soft, reserved laughter. It is only when his gaze returns to her that she stops, flushing from his attention.

“I hope you do not mind me saying, but you have a beautiful smile…,” he notes after an observing moment. She nervously looks away—feeling highly discomforted at the moment both by his presence and his comment.

“Please do keep smiling just like that…,” he continues kindly. It was only till much later she learned from him that she seemed highly depressed that all he had wanted to do was to create a smile on her gloomy face. But at that particular moment, she felt sheepish and awkward around him.

“Would you like to meet her, my daughter? She is a very sweet girl… I am sure you will take a liking to her… She is quite funny too…likes to crack jokes whenever she can,” he unexpectedly asks, alarming her.

Before she has a chance to refute, the man calls out for his daughter who comes rushing some moments later on her father’s request. The woman then found herself interacting with the cheeky five-year old girl full of zest and incredible energy. She patiently heard her innocent childish jokes that surprisingly managed to make her smile and eventually laugh freely, erasing the dampened mood that hung over her earlier.

She was well aware of the girl’s father watching their interaction with an encouraging smile. After ushering her off, the man redirects his focus on her.

“So, what is the verdict?” he questions with a twinkle in his eyes. Not helping it, she smiles genuinely at him. “You have a lovely daughter…,” she answers, her first spoken words to him. He smiles smugly as a response. She turns to look at her fingers that fiddle with her pallu before back to him.

“Thank you…,” she expresses sincerely, now understanding his intention of uprooting her from the misery gnawing at her.

He simply proceeds in smiling boyishly. “Hopefully we’ll get to see you around here more often….now that my little girl has found an audience for her comedic acts, she will not want to let you go.”

She releases a short chuckle on his words. “I will try not to disappoint her…,” she responds candidly.

“I am Jai, by the way,” he introduces finally, extending his large hand forward for a proper handshake. After a hesitant moment, she takes it, allowing his hand to take a firm grip onto hers.

“Bani…,” she introduces herself as well.  

“It is nice to meet you, Bani.”

“Likewise,” she replies, sharing his kind smile.

She came to the park that day, having stumbled upon it, wanting to mellow in her own self-pity. She did not realize that she would be eased out of it from a simple exchange of words from a friendly stranger…the first person to have reached out to her in so long….nor did she know that that stranger would quickly become into a close friend… one that she would depend on for moments of brief escape and be free….


“Have you found it?” he prods gently. Seeing the gradual growth of a radiant smile on her curvy lips indicates the answer. She nods her head, her eyes never leaving his.

“Yes….”

“And… are we still upset?” he quips meaningfully, bringing color to her previously pale cheeks. She shakes her head, biting down her lip to keep from giggling as this is the question he puts across to his five-year old daughter. He shares her smile, at last.

“What did you think of?” he asks inquisitively, wanting her to share her thoughts with him. She does not adhere to him this time, however. She gives another shake of her head.

“I want to keep this one to myself…,” she explains. She would tell him one day. She did not want to have to explain just yet about her feelings attached to that very memory, why she treasures it so much. She is grateful that he lets it go, not pushing it.

A moment later Krishna joins their side breathlessly and chirps to her about why she had not brought her two-year old nephew, Anshu, along as she usually does. And thereafter, neither of the two adults could seem to calm down the girl’s rambling mouth as once it opens, it rarely ever closes….

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She had been unscrewing the last of her earrings late that night when she felt his cold hands slip into her saree, caressing her slim stomach with his wandering fingers. She stiffens, her hands freezing midair. Seconds later the solid surface of his chest pressed against her back accompanies his touch. He draws her nearer, molding herself into him, and nuzzles his face into the crook of her neck.

“… I am sorry for earlier,” he whispers in her ear, his breath tickling the inside of it. She does not answer, her heart thumping loudly and her mind consumed in turmoil, not knowing what to make out of his split-personality. Throughout the day he is a foul beast spewing at her and at night he is gentle and affectionate. She has, though, grown accustomed to this behavior in the past three years of her marriage to him. She found that she could do nothing but accept it.

“I have wanted to come home to you all day….,” he adds huskily while brushing aside her hair and leisurely kissing the column of her long neck. She closes her eyes on the first peck of his lips on her skin, knowing very well what comes next.

She is taken to bed where her lustful husband takes his time in undressing her. Her head rested on one of the plush pillows, her eyes pierce into the ceiling above as his attention wavers below. Her body grows limb in his hands….numb to his stroking touches. Only one thought races through her mind… an image providing the solace she yearns for.  

A mane of thick black hair… its perfect length complimenting his face structure…not too short and not too long…. dark stormy eyes that remind her of the tides belonging to the Arabian Sea at nightfall… the lean nose that leads down to his perfectly shaped lips…those lips that form into one of the most endearing smiles she has the pleasure in seeing….and a strong jaw structure that completes the ruggedness of his attractive features…

A tear leaks from her eyes, trickling down to the side. 

“You are so beautiful…,” he hums against her bare skin, securing his hold around her waist that keeps her close during the aftermath of the passionless lovemaking.  She pretends to be asleep, her eyes sealed shut in fear of allowing the burst of a dam building inside of her….

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Bani Dixit was twenty-two when Aparajit Deb first set his eyes on her. To say he fell in love at first sight would not be the actual case. He was fixated by her, allowing his infatuation to go as far as a marriage proposal. Bani was not keen in accepting but the excessive prodding from her family made her cave into their demand. The alliance was a godsend for her parents, who explained that not only did he share their class but exceeded their wealth as well. He was a catch. Hence, she was engaged for six months to the immensely wealthy businessman ten years her senior. She was married at twenty-three. The initial months of their marriage Aparajit was sweet and caring. Bani even found herself slowly liking him in return. Though, that all came crashing down as the marriage worn on. He became less like the gentleman he portrayed himself to be and more like a nightmare that did not seem to end.

He is exceedingly temperamental, impatient, rude, and ill-mannered. Bani has lost track of times where she cried late at night into her pillow, weeping over her fate. Her tears also seem to be shriveling up over the years….leaving her empty and hollow inside…devoid of any emotion.

One night she spoke about divorce. That had been the first and last time he raised his hand on her. She did not utter it again, fearing what he was capable of doing out of scorned anger. He would not have her rejecting him, she knows this well.

She lives a pathetic existence….a mere shadow of the person she once was…remaining by her husband’s side out of fear, not love, and the strict pressure from her family.

She did not think that she would have a reason to keep going on… She felt alone and was spiraling quickly into depression. She could not speak any of this to her family or friends. They would not understand her predicament since they think her as being fortunate.

That is, till she met Jai Walia.

The one brief encounter led to many and soon enough it became routine to go to the park where she sat beside the stranger who became more as the months went by. She would lose herself in his company, forgetting her woes and her disastrous marriage…soaking up the warmth he exuded….wanting to drown in it. She told herself that it’s merely a friendship, nothing more to it. That she was doing nothing wrong since it is plainly clear she is a married woman and what they share is pure friendship.

But a small voice inside of her protested…warning her that it is much more than what she leads herself into believing and that if she is not careful trouble will come her way….

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I would like to make clear that I do not condone extra-marital affairs, but this was an idea that I just had to jot down and get out of my head. My intention isn't to promote some illicit relationship, but to write about a woman's unhappiness and how she finds comfort in another man. It'll be more of an emotional affair than physical, but I hope you all enjoy the concept regardless. Please do let me know what you think about the story--I'm open to criticism of any kind! 

I will try my best to update my current stories as soon as I can!! 

Love, 
Dil 





Here's the next installment! Thank you to those of you who left comments, they truly mean a lot! I'm glad no one opposes to the story! Hope you continue to enjoy it. 



Falling in Love Again... 


“Bani Aunty, you brought Anshu!” Krishna exclaims the next day, approaching her immediately when setting eyes onto her and the toddler boy arriving at the park.

“Yes, I have,” Bani agrees. Krishna’s light gray eyes shine in excitement and look to her hopefully.

“Can I take him to the playground? I pomise I will be exttrrrrraaaaaaa careful with him,” she chirps, evoking an affectionate smile on the woman’s lips.

“Okay… but don’t take him too far… Stay close so your father and I can see you,” she advises, allowing the eager girl to take the boy who she became besotted by the first she saw of him. Bani watches the two young children go in an adoring manner, a smile tugging on her mouth.

Ansh is her older sister, Rano Sharma’s youngest son from her second marriage to Ranveer Sharma. Since Rano is a career woman, Bani opts to help out in watching over the toddler, her nephew, as much as she can since she is stuck at home all day, having no job to run off to. Aparajit won’t have her working, declaring that he provides for her more than enough and that having a career would not be necessary. Hence, Bani takes Anshu to the park mostly every day, her main excuse of getting out of the house.

“Beautiful day, isn’t it?”  

Turning around, she meets his gray eyes that contain a gleam in them. He pats down on the empty seat beside him on the bench. She does not delay in complying. She sits, keeping a distance in mind between them. He is well aware of the distance she creates.

“How is Rano doing?” he politely questions. She smiles at him.

“She is doing well… Still very busy, though…,” she adds.

“I am wondering when I will ever have the pleasure of seeing Anshu’s mother around here….,” he states unmindfully that is till he notices her startled hazel eyes lock with his.

“Why? … Do you not like my company?” she asks with worry laced in her soft tone. Her wide eyes stare so intently at him that he finds himself stammering over his next words.

“N-no… Of course not…  It’s a simple query that’s all…. Bani, you know how much I enjoy your company,” he says. A smile gradually reappears and she beams in pleasure. He grins lazily at the reaction. They slip into a comfortable silence, watching over the two little children play with each other joyfully.

Her gaze lingers on Krishna as she prances around Ansh in her pretty pink dress, black hair whirling in the breeze. Her gray eyes twinkle when she laughs mirthfully and Bani cannot help but smile from the sight. If it weren’t for her eyes and sweet nature, she may have not easily believed that Krishna is Jai’s child. Her resemblance to her father is slim; she supposes Krishna has taken after her mother...

“Do you still miss her?” she speaks after some time, drawing his attention back to her instead of his daughter. Looking into her probing orbs, he knows what she’s talking about without the need for clarification. He takes a moment to respond, reflecting over his thoughts.

“Not so much like I used to… It’s been so long—five years…. I can hardly remember my life with her anymore,” he justifies quietly. He suddenly appears sheepish and terribly guilty when realizing how his statement may have sounded.

“Don’t take me wrong, it’s not that I didn’t love her… I still do… More than just being my wife, she was my best friend…and she also gave me Krishna…. But time goes on and soon enough you learn to cope with the loss and move on….,” he clarifies. He does not have to worry about her judging him since she smiles kindly at him, her hazel eyes shining.

“I understand…,” she replies sweetly. They share a smile. Another silent moment passes by in which she gathers the courage to muster her next words.

“When you say… moving on…. do you… think you can fall in love…once again and be happy…. or was she the one for you?” she poses in a soft hush.

“Yes…,” he responds firmly without any hesitance.   

“Yes to what?” she inquires slowly, half of her reluctant to receive the answer and the other half desperate to hear it.  

“….. To falling in love again,” he states throatily, his stormy eyes penetrating hers leaving her breathless….
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Seeing him struggle with knotting his tie, mouthing one curse after another, she hesitantly approaches him, her small hands stopping the frustrated movements of his fingers. He allows her to do the task and once done, he brushes her aside.

“Get into the car and wait for me there…” he instructs sternly, turning his focus to his uncombed hair. Snubbed, she lowers her eyes and leaves from their bedroom. The chauffer seats her into the car in which she waits for her husband to join her so they can leave to one of the many societal parties they have been invited to. In the solitude of the running car, she reflects over her time spent in the park…a smile easing away the dullness that lingered on her lovely young face.

She recalls one of Krishna’s corny jokes that build the smile further…the two dimples on her cheeks visibly showing. Her eyes contain a certain spark in them when remembering Jai’s request, on his daughter’s insistence, for her presence at Krishna’s school play in which she has the lead role.

“I understand if you are unable to attend… I will explain to Krishna somehow,” he said cautiously when noting the hesitance from her part.

“I will try my best to make it,” she replied genuinely after realizing she was showcasing her worry about her husband’s approval to the idea.

Aparajit soon enough arrived, roughly breaking her out of the content trance that overtook her. They drove in silence, nothing unusual about it as their interaction with one another is mostly in silence. It was when the driver braked in front of a red light that she spoke….

“Suniye…,” she calls out to him softly.

“Hmm,” he grunts, not even looking her way, his gaze fixated onto his blackberry.

“… Krissy has a school play next week… Rano Didi will have her during that time… She has asked me to go and watch… You don’t mind, do you?”

“Krissy? … Isn’t she the two-year old? How does she have a school play?” he grimly questions.

“That is Anshu… Krissy is the oldest from Didi’s first marriage….,” she clarifies tonelessly, not even sounding the least bit annoyed for him not knowing this. He does not keep in close contact with her family, doesn’t bother with them unless he has to—something that she has found recently she is quite grateful for.  

“The one with the joint custody?”

“Yes…,” she responds calmly.  

“Hm… I do not mind it… But do not be out for too long… Ma needs you at home now that she is staying with us,” he replies flatly. The driver steps onto the accelerator, putting the car back in drive.

“Ji…”

From his peripheral vision, he sees her turn her face to the window. However, what he fails to see is the pleased smirk playing on her curvy red lips….for she had spoken a lie and did not feel the least bit bad about it.

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In the following few days, she told Rano that she could not babysit Anshu, stating some excuse. It worked out, though, when Rano informed it was her day off anyway and she would be staying home with her son. Bani left her husband’s house, taking care to her appearance more so than usual and with somersaults occurring in the pit of her stomach. She did not bother to evaluate the reasoning behind her behavior—too cheery by the idea of doing something she wanted to for once.

When he saw her, his infamous smile lit up his face, making him appear more handsome, something she did not think was possible.

“You came…,” he states in surprised delight. She turns pink, feeling sheepish for unknown reasons. She gives a half-smile.

“.. I hope I haven’t come late?”

“No, you are just on time. It’s just about to start. Come, let’s find seats for ourselves,” he suggests amicably with a friendly twinkle in his gray eyes. She follows after his leading form and stays close once the lights begin to dim in the large auditorium, engulfing it into subtle darkness. She is unable to properly see where she is going.

“Jai?...”

“Careful, Bani,” he advises concernedly when witnessing her near trip over a chair. His outstretched hand takes a grip onto hers, startling her by the contact. She looks down at his large masculine hand clasping her small dainty one. It is when he tugs gently on her hand that she eases in his hold, her fingers applying soft pressure into his palm. He leads her through the row of chairs in which people have already settled in and soon locates available seats for them. They settle onto the chairs in the midst of the decent sized crowd, their hands still loosely joined.

“Krishna will be real happy that you came to see her, Bani…,” he whispers.

“Even I’m happy that I came,” she replies sincerely, her hazel eyes shining with genuine delight of coming to the event. He smiles, giving a light squeeze on her hand before releasing it and turning his attention onto the stage that lights up, silently announcing the beginning of the play.

However, Bani has difficulty focusing on the play when she has eyes only for him….

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“Daddy!” Krishna screams when racing toward her father, who engulfs her into his arms and smothers her with kisses. Bani looks on with a fond smile at the father-daughter interaction.

“Krishy, you did so well, Daddy’s so proud of you, princess,” Jai says, evoking a huge smile onto the five-year old’s beaming face. She giggles happily. Jai gives one last tight hug before releasing her. Krishna reaches for his hand once on the ground. Her wide gray eyes look over to Bani, who remains standing nearby.

“Bani Aunty! Did you see me?!” she chirps immediately on seeing her. Bani cannot help but smile further at the child’s clear excitement.

“Yes I did, you did so wonderfully, Krishna… and you made such a pretty princess too,” Bani chimes sweetly, taking the little girl’s other hand and pecking her affectionately on the cheek. Krishna grins goofily at her.

“Daddy, did you get it on tape?” she asks, directing her attention back onto her father.

“Of course, sweetheart. We’ll watch it once we’re home, how’s that sound?”

She giggles gleefully as a response. She holds onto both of the adult’s hands tightly, walking in the middle of them as they move out from the auditorium, following the dispersing crowd out.

“Daddy, can we go out for ice cream, please?” she questions politely, staring up at her father’s tall height of 6’3”.

“Sure thing, let’s drop Bani Aunty first to her car, okay? Then I’ll take you out.”

Instantly the little girl’s face falls on hearing what her father says. She pouts openly at him.  

“But Daddy, can’t Bani Aunty come with us?”

“I’m afraid not kiddo, Aunty has to get back home, doesn’t she?” he puts across as a matter of fact, expecting her to agree to his words, to which she does reluctantly. Krishna, however, looks with sad eyes to Bani, who has become into her favorite person besides her father these past months.

“Aunty, can you please come with me and Daddy? Please? Daddy will take us to eat ice cream, it will be fun, I pomise!”

As the little girl pleads profusely, Bani finds that she cannot refuse and break her little heart. She looks up and meets his gray eyes that watch her carefully. She gives a small smile of defeat whilst silently conveying to him that she can manage to take out more of her time.

“As long as your Daddy is fine with paying for me since I do not have any money on me,” Bani states in a conceding manner, causing a grin to emerge on his lips.

“I would be more than willing to…,” he replies with such sincerity that warms Bani’s insides.

“Yayy!” Krishna screams out in sheer joy and nearly skips to the exit, oblivious to the discreet looks her father and aunty share on the way there….

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She arrived home near early evening, parking the car, and walking toward the mansion fully aware that she has placed herself into trouble. She surprisingly finds herself not caring for once, though. Her awaiting mother-in-law, her controlling husband, and her failing marriage did not matter to her. None of it did anymore. She walks into the mansion in a content trance, her mind reliving through the time she had just shared with both Jai and Krishna. A soft smile plays on her lips, her normally dull eyes dancing with life. She passes by her mother-in-law who is seated down onto one of the furniture in the living room.

“And where have you been? You were supposed to be here earlier… Why have you come back so late?” the older woman snaps at her rudely. She is rebuffed, though, when her daughter-in-law blatantly ignores her and proceeds on over to the stairs. Enraged by this, she shouts at her retreating back.

“Where are you going girl? I am asking you something!” she shrills. She is further stumped when Bani climbs up the stairs, her figure eventually disappearing from view as she lands on the top floor of the house.

She lies on the king-sized mattress in her bedroom, her body outstretched across the bed. She wears a full-fledged smile on her glowing face when thinking on their time together in the ice cream parlor. They sat, talked, and laughed and Bani felt at complete ease—all her inhibitions gone and long forgotten. She truly felt a part of them; she wanted to be a part of them. She wanted to be with them always, never wanting to leave… not wanting to leave him.

If only things were different… If only they had met in different circumstances… If only they had met before she was married… If only she wasn’t married… If only….

She drifted away to a blissful sleep in which his handsome face floated in her thoughts….

Bani awoke abruptly from her nap when hearing the loud bang of the bedroom door closing. She rises from the bed dazedly and looks to see her husband enter into their room. A dreadful silence fills between them in which she notes he appears grave over something. He flashes a fleeting look before approaching the dresser, unstrapping the silver watch around his wrist.

“Ma tells me you came home late….,” his voice booms…

“…. Krissy’s play went longer than expected… Later Didi insisted that I come by her house and stay for lunch… I did not mean to come home so late,” she obediently answers him after a stilling moment. She watches him silently take in her answer before giving a curt nod of his head, accepting her explanation.

“Do not be so late in the future again… Ma was upset… I have calmed her down…”

“Ji…”

“And next time take the driver… I do not want you driving alone…,” he informs sternly. She lowers her gaze and nods her head slowly. He sets the watch down onto the dresser top and expels a low sigh, visibly seeming drained from a day’s work at the office. She fidgets in her place for a second.

“I will just go and check on dinner…,” she informs him. As she moves to leave, passing by him, he holds her back by taking a hold onto her waist and pulling her back against the front of his chest.

“I have something better in mind for you to do….,” he says to her. His hands caress her suggestively.

Dread settles within her from his intimate touches. She becomes instantly stiff and removes his grabbing hands off her, stepping away from him.

“Please—I-I have to go,” she insists and walks out of the room without directing another look in his direction…

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Hi guys, I'm halfway done with the update for Incomplete Life--I was hoping to be done with it by now but there were so many distractions in between for which I apologize. I'll get to finishing it as soon as I can! But for the time being, please enjoy another installment to this story. 



It’s Nothing Wrong…


One lie led to another and soon enough Bani found herself continuously lying to her husband for the sake of stealing time away for herself… for Jai. Besides spending time at the park, she joined them in occasional outings to nearby places to either get something to eat or simply for a change in scenery. She knew what she was doing was probably wrong in the eyes of others, but did not care for it. She was finally content in a long time… did not feel as if her life was falling apart… as if she would go insane with misery. She was doing something for herself… She was being happy. And if she found that happiness in the company of someone else besides her husband, so be it. As for as she knew, she wasn’t doing anything immoral. She was spending time with a friend.  

The next couple of weeks went by in a happy blur for her….

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She was packing her husband’s things into a suitcase when she felt him tug on one of her blouse strings. He had been busy these past couple of weeks, coming straight home and sleeping. He did not bother with being close to her, something she was greatly relieved about. She should have known that wouldn’t last for too long. She can ward it off for one more night, though, and next morning he will be gone for a whole week away on business purposes. This settles away the brief panic she felt on feeling his touch on her.

“Bani…,” he calls for her attention, taking a hold onto both of her shoulders. 

“…. I am not feeling well,” she states simply, lightly shrugging off his hands and resuming in his packing. He does not hear her lame excuse and instead turns her around to face him. She reluctantly stares up at his face and into his dark desire-filled eyes. He gathers her close. When leaning in to kiss her, she moves her face away.

“What is wrong?” he prods roughly, snubbed by her rejection.

“I have a cold…”

“… I do not mind,” he answers with finality then steers her face back to him. His thumb gently strokes her bottom lip. A shudder runs down her spine. Just as his lips brush against hers, a shout is heard from outside their bedroom. She recognizes it as her mother-in-law calling for her. For once she is thankful for the badgering woman’s interruption. She quickly withdraws from her evidently annoyed husband.

“Mummyji,” she speaks hurriedly, thinking the one word is enough of a proper excuse, and leaves the bedroom as quickly as her feet can take her….

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“I want to build a firm of my own, become my own boss, create my own designs, build buildings to my standards, you know?…,” he expresses to her wistfully as they walk along the path belonging to a vast garden that is not much far from the park.

“I am sure you will get what you want, Jai…. You are a good architect… I believe you have the potential,” she encourages with an uplifting smile. He turns to her.

“You think so?”

“… I know so,” she genuinely replies. They share a smile and continue walking side by side, keeping an eye on the children time to time who are not so far away, playing on the playground.

“And what about you?” he poses, taking her aback on how he turns the conversation onto her.

“What about me?” she questions back uncertainly. 

“Well what is it that you want to do? Your life goal…,” he elaborates. Bani flashes him a puzzled look.

“I… I don’t understand,” she replies, not following what he is trying to ask her. He laughs gently at her.

“You’re telling me there isn’t something you want to do? Some dream that you have that you want to see happen? I just told you mine… I get to hear yours now.”

Her companion watches as a faraway look builds in her hazel eyes, as if she were somewhere else and not besides him. Concern unfolds onto his face when she remains silent for longer than a few moments. He clears his throat, ready to change the topic, wondering if he has hit some kind of nerve, yet is surprised when she speaks next…

“I wanted to study abroad…continue my studies… I was very much into photography…,” she informs him gently, her voice strangely distant.

He raises a brow at her, wanting to know what makes such an expression to appear on her youthful face and the mystery that surrounds her, the one that he slowly has been probing at day to day in an effort to discover more about her.

“Was? What happened?” he matches her somber tone. She casts him a furtive look, finally meeting his eyes once more.

“I got married…,” she responds flatly, as if that is the only explanation needed. He looks ahead of him, tearing his gaze from her while nodding his head in acknowledgment. Since knowing her he has come to learn that her marriage is behind a lot of reasons…. It is also a topic she does not like to touch much.

“So photography…. Tell me about it,” he prods as they walk across a short bridge over a flowing creek. He digs his hands into his pockets, shooting her a careful stare.

Bani is startled by this, not having a prompt answer in return. She watches as he patiently waits for her to say more, yet nothing comes to mind right away. No one has ever really taken an interest in getting to know about her passion, particularly her family and husband. They simply regarded it as a silly little time-pass, nothing significant—not even considered a talent. She has long ago learned to stop blabbering about it, knowing that no one cared to listen. Yet here is finally someone to hear when there is nothing to hear about anymore.

“There’s not much to tell… It was years ago. I haven’t picked up a camera in so long,” she confesses to him.

“But you wanted to study it… It surely must have meant a lot to you. How can you say there isn’t anything to share?” he rebukes, genuinely befuddled by her. She smiles faintly at him.

“Things change… My priorities are different. It was just a silly time pass…I grew out of it,” she says nonchalantly, echoing the very words of her family. She misses the grimace that mars Jai’s handsome face and instead is distracted by the calls from the children, who run to them from the swings demanding for some ice cream by the nearby vendor.

As Bani held onto her nephew, helping him eat his ice cream, she notices Jai’s lingering gaze on her from her peripheral vision. Unnerved by this, she meets his eyes and feels her heart race when he does not look away.

“What?” she inquires self-consciously, wondering if there is anything on her face from having taken a bite of Ansh’s ice cream cone. He simply gives her an enigmatic smile.

“Nothing,” he replies.

She casts him a suspicious look.

“What about we take the kids to look at the ducks before calling it a day?” he suddenly proposes, distracting her. She nods her head in approval, following after his lead, Krishna holding tightly onto her hand and Ansh straddled in her other arm. Seeing this, Jai stops momentarily. He scoops her nephew and places him high onto his shoulders instead, Ansh smiling in glee.

“Come on Ansh, let’s go feed the ducks,” he talks directly to the boy, who is rather fond of him just as Krishna is taken by Bani. Bani smiles endearingly after them and walks just behind them with Krishna latched to her side, licking her ice cream contently and shooting Bani goofy grins in between.

And then a sudden thought hit her that made her cheeks instantly burn.  They must appear like a family out on a stroll together to others; father, mother, daughter, and son. She immediately pushes the image out of her mind, chastising herself from thinking on it again….

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The week went by so fast that Bani could hardly believe it. Her high spirits were dampened by Aparajit’s return, knowing that she would now have to proceed with her previous caution and not roam as freely as she had in his absence. Her mother-in-law surely would mention it to him, but she could easily make the best of the situation somehow in her favor as Aparajit hardly shares much of a relationship with his mother.

“Sunn…,” her husband calls for her as soon as she exits from the washroom, vigorously wiping at her damp hair with a towel. She turns to him, her wide eyes blinking at him. He unbuttons the cuffs to his sleeves, in the process of discarding his shirt after a long day of work.

“There is an event tomorrow evening. Be ready by six. I will come straight from work to get you,” he tells her firmly. He begins in removing his tie, expecting to hear her compliance.

Bani stares at him stricken, frozen in her place. Tomorrow evening she had promised Jai she would make her presence at the party his coworkers will be hosting for the promotion he was given last week. He was now head of his department, a goal he has been working for years. She could not refuse his invitation, wanting to partake in his happiness and celebrate for her dear friend. She could not bear to see the disappointment in his gray eyes if she told him so.

“I—I can’t…,” she stammers and inwardly winces when his dark eyes trail back to her. He stares fixatedly at her.

“Why not?” he subtly demands, his tone low and ominous. Her mind races, trying to think of something…anything.

“Rano Di…” she blurts out at once without thinking. Her sister has always been the default excuse. It has become into a habit now. Bani hardly has much of a social life ever since her marriage, especially not within her husband’s circle of friends who he insists her to mingle with. He would easily catch onto her fib if she mentioned anyone else. But Rano is safe. She is always safe.

“What about her?” he nearly snaps in annoyance. She licks her dry lips, wondering how she will get herself out of this one.

“Promotion… Di… had a promotion recently. There is a party for her tomorrow. If I do not go, she will be very upset with me. She has invited you and Mummy ji as well….,” she finishes, mentally kicking herself for going too far with the lie in an effort to sound convincing. She schools her features into appearing calm and collected, hoping that he does not detect anything in his intent scrutiny of her. She holds in her breath, trying to gauge his reaction to her excuse and hoping that he doesn’t actually turn down his own event in order to attend her sister’s “promotion.” She would not know what to do then.

What seems to be an eternity to Bani, but really was only a moment, passes by till Aparajit finally speaks again.

“You know Ma will not be able to attend with her leg… And I can’t afford to miss out on tomorrow… Make sure to pass on our best wishes to her,” he simply says.

While her husband stalks to the washroom, shutting the door behind him, Bani slumps onto the bed. She releases a sigh of relief, grateful that Aparajit fell for the fib. Running a hand through her damp hair, she wonders for how much longer she can keep on lying to him…

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Hi all, here is the fourth installment to What the Heart Wants. I know many of you probably were not waiting for this update over the Incomplete Life update, but I had it finished and thought of going ahead and posting it up while I finish up Incomplete Life (which is like 9/10 done, I promise! I'm so close!) Again, really sorry for testing all of your patience, I'm trying my best to get it done as soon as possible. For now, please enjoy the continuation of this story and please do leave feedback! I really want to know your thoughts on it... 


It’s More Than Friendship ... 


She slips on bangle after bangle while her husband chats incessantly into his cell phone from behind. He paces across the expanse of their master bedroom whilst getting ready for the business dinner event that evening. She watches as he growls into the phone in the meantime attempting to fix his tie. She shifts her gaze back onto her reflection in the mirror before her, wondering for the umpteenth time whether she opted for the best outfit or not. She puts on the last of her jewelry, screwing on her earrings while keeping an eye on the clock. She should be leaving any minute now. 

“Why are you so dressed up?” 

Bani jolts in her place and turns around to find her husband scrutinizing her. She blinks her big doe eyes at him, unsure of how to respond. Nervously she fumbles with the bangles on her wrist. 

“Woh—I told you… Di’s party…”

Realization dawns on him but his eyes remain fixed on her. He pockets his cell phone. 

“Hmm… When are you leaving?” 

“Just now…,” she answers demurely. His eyes continue to watch her and she fidgets in her place, wondering what it is that’s going through his mind. 

“.. Who’d you say would be at this party?” 

“It will be a few of Di’s coworkers and close friends..,” she replies meekly, unsettled by his inquisition. He is silent again, his dark eyes still boring into her own. 

“… Take Ma with you,” he suddenly says to her. “She hasn’t been out in a while… going outside might do some good for her.” 

Her insides drop from the suggestion and she tries her level best not to let it show on her face. She responds to this, a bit too hastily—with a tremble in her voice. 

“ Ji, Mummyji was complaining about having a headache and has already gone to sleep… I think she may want to rest for now,” Bani informs him in a desperate effort to deflect the situation. She cannot have her mother-in-law, at any costs, accompany her. Her lie would unfold right then and there. 

A grimace settles onto her husband’s lips. “… Where did you say this party is?” 

“Rano Di’s office building,” she shoots back, making sure to keep her voice calm and leveled. 

Another thoughtful look crosses his face. He pulls out his cell again, scrolling through the device. “Give me the address. I will note it down. If I have time afterward, I will drop by…”

Stumped, Bani stares at him with wide eyes. She can feel her heart pacing faster than normal and a clamminess taking over her body. She hadn’t expected this. He is normally so indifferent, particularly regarding anything to do with her family’s affairs. Why is he suddenly interested? 

Her heart hammering, she scrambles through her mind quickly for some address…any address…to validate her lie and keep her husband off track. She is conscious of his close gaze fleeting back to her. 

“What happened?” 

Bani’s face almost crumbles as her mind fails her. She cannot think or create an address under such pressure. 

“.. J-ji… You… want to come to Di’s promotion party?” she instead poses, hoping to buy her some way out of this. 

“Well like I said, if I have the time,” he answers her impatiently. “Besides, it’s been a while since I’ve seen anyone from your family… it doesn’t seem nice.”

Suddenly annoyed that she is having him explain himself, he snaps a little harshly, “Are you going to give it to me or not?” 

“The address?... I, uh… do not know it off the top of my head… I will have to che—..” she falters in her pathetic words when the blaring off his phone cuts her off. 

“Hang on,” he directs, taking the call and pressing the device to his ear. Immense relief trickles inside her from this interruption. 

“Hello? …. … Yes Himmesh, exactly what I told you earlier…. What do you mean it did not go through?” his tone growing an edge while speaking to his employee. 

She stands awkwardly by his side, listening to his heated exchange with the caller, while keeping an eye on the ticking clock. She does not want to be late. Switching her gaze back to her husband, she quietly watches as frustration takes over….and he begins to bellow. She remains unaffected, however, since this is a usual occurrence. 

“I’ve never seen such incompetence before, what the hell do I pay you lot for?!” 

“… No, you get back and make sure that it goes through. If this problem isn’t fixed when I go in tomorrow morning, Himmesh, then consider yourself terminated,” he warns dangerously. 

Aparajit remains silent for a long while after these words, listening to the haste rambling of his employee, most likely explaining himself. Bani decides that this opportunity is better than none to escape, even if it means to trifle with her angry husband. 

“Suniye… I am running late and--..” she does not even have to finish since Aparajit lifts his hand, waving her off. He does not even look at her. 

“Go. Just leave,” he orders her, his focus solely captivated by his business matters. For once in their marriage, Bani is perfectly content in being discarded in such a manner. Grabbing her purse, she flees from the bedroom, glancing above to thank the almighty for saving her from what could have unfolded… 

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Bani felt immediately out of place on arriving. She had never been to an office party before in her life so did not know what to expect… or how to dress. She opted for one of her sarees; a shimmering yellow with golden beadwork that highlighted her lovely features and heightened her fair complexion. But on looking around the office space, she wondered whether she was inappropriately dressed for the event. The women in the room were wearing fine dresses or trendy tops and skirts. She was well aware of people she came across eying her time to time… She smiled stiffly, uncomfortable by their scrutiny and the unfamiliarity of her surroundings. 
She only eased out of her discomfort when her eyes landed onto Jai, who finally caught the sight of her from across the room. A huge grin erupted on his face and she smiled bashfully back. She watched him excuse himself from his companions before walking over to her in the midst of the party…. 

“Bani,” he calls her name, delight clear in his voice.  “I’m so glad that you’re here…”

She tries her very best not to blush. He is handsome as always; wearing a fine black suit that compliments his build and accentuates his broad shoulders. He wears no tie, the top few buttons of his dress shirt left open…. 

“Congratulations, Jai,” she murmurs, smiling kindly at him with warm eyes. His smile deepens… the one dimple in his cheek showing. 

“Thanks… You didn’t have any trouble finding the building did you?” he inquires. 

Bani shakes her head. “No, the directions were just fine… I’m sorry if I am a little late, though.”

He waves her off. “Don’t be ridiculous, you are just on time. Now tell me, what will you have to drink?”

He sets out in getting her refreshments and settling her into the environment; introducing her to his friends and colleagues. She smiles at him throughout this; pleased by his intention of making her comfortable and involved. Slowly her previous inhibitions leave her as she finds the people to be quite charming and friendly, readily talking back to her once Jai introduced her as a friend. She eases into flowing conversation and even enjoys herself; laughing and smiling. Bani felt even better as time went on when various women slowly came to her, one by one, genuinely complimenting her looks and questioning where they could get a similar saree. Embarrassed, but flattered, she dived into talks with them as well…. 

All the while, she is conscious of his eyes following her… the grin that he wears on seeing how well she interacts with his friends. Her red lips curve into a smile when her gaze meets his….eyes shining. 

Time flies faster than Bani expected; the party was going fantastically well. She could not remember the last time she enjoyed other people’s company so much. Since her marriage to Aparajit, she gradually lost touch with her friends one by one… eventually disconnected from her previous social circle. Soon enough her depression got the better of her where she did not care to meet or know others; loneliness became her only companion. And she was content with it… that is, till that fortunate day at the park. 

Her eyes seek his again. As if reading her thoughts, Jai glances her way with a certain look to him. He leans in close to her….

“… It’s getting a little warm in here, don’t you think?” he says for only her to hear. Bani nods in agreement, realizing that it is getting quite hot in the room—most probably due to the crowd of people and the drinks she has been sipping on. 

“Want to accompany me outside? I need some air…,” he proposes, trying to make his voice audible over the loud sounds of laughter, music, and clinking of glasses. 

Again she nods, grinning a little. He gives a jerk of his head, gesturing to the balcony doors behind them. She feels his hand place itself on the small of her back when excusing them from the group they were conversing to. He steers her in the direction of the balcony, Bani following his guidance. His hand falls when they reach the doors… 

A strong breeze welcomes them as soon as they stand on the platform of the balcony, the doors closing shut behind them, the party now just a faint echo to their ears. 

Bani’s first instinct is to rub her hands across her sleeveless arms to give them warmth from the cold. She stares out at the view before her….dusk now having settled and the bright lights of the thriving city presenting an admiring sight. 

“Too cold?” he questions with a soft chuckle. “Do you want to go back inside?” 

Bani looks his way and smiles faintly. 

“… No, it’s just fine, it was getting too stuffy in there anyway,” she replies but another chill in the wind makes her shiver slightly. Seeing this, Jai approaches her, shrugging off his coat. 

“Here, this will keep you warm…” he says, coming to her from behind and draping the coat around her, letting it settle on her shoulders. 

“Oh, Jai, you don’t have to—..”

“Don’t be silly. I don’t want you to be cold.”

She feels the instant warmth radiate from his coat and smells a hint of his cologne that lingers… her fingers take a hold of the lapels and draw them close to her chest, completely enveloping herself. 

“Thank you,” she expresses gratefully, causing Jai to smile it off. 

“Don’t mention it…” 

She shares the smile and a comfortable silence blankets over them as together they stare out at Mumbai’s nightlife…watching the bustling cars, the twinkle of buildings, and the stars—shining bright in the dark sky. 

“Krishy didn’t come?” she suddenly asks, finding it odd that the girl is missing from the party.

“My sister is watching her for the night. I figured Krishu would be bored here with no one around her age,” he offers as an answer. 

“How is Jigyasa?” Bani warmly questions, knowing very well how much Jai adores his little sister. 

“She’s great,” he responds ardently, his gray eyes gleaming at her. “She’s enjoying motherhood fully… Saahil is turning six months soon,” he adds. 

Bani beams at him. “So soon? He’s getting so big.” Jai now smiles widely at her, perhaps pleased that she is nice enough to share in on his happiness for his sister… to take a genuine interest. 

“He sure is. It’s like it was just yesterday that he was born….”

Bani suddenly giggles. “I remember clearly… we were at the park.”

“Of course,” Jai chimes in with a knowing smile. 

“And you literally leapt off the bench screaming that you were an uncle—you wanted everyone to know,” she continues in laughing sweetly over the memory. 

“Do you remember the dirty looks the other parents gave me?” 

“They thought you were a mad man!” Bani chortles in between her laughs. “Shouting on top of your lungs like that…” 

Jai chuckles throatily with her. “They’ve been very weary of me since then…. Not one of my best moments I have to say.”

Bani places a hand to her mouth, laughing freely at this point. She misses how Jai stares at her, his grin still intact, a certain softness in his pools of gray. Her giggles subside and he looks away, instead, gazing out in front of him. 

“Time has been going by so fast, hasn’t it?” he sighs. 

Having settled now, Bani joins his reflective mood. His words linger and she takes the moment to really think on them. It’s true. These past many months spent with Jai… it has gone in a blink of an eye. She feels as if she has known him forever yet at the same time as if the day at the park was not too far ago. How much more time do they have together, she now thinks. Like this? To be able to see one another and speak freely in the manner that they do? Will her friendship with him span years? Will it be able to? 

Her smile faltering, frown lines appear on her forehead as she grows somber. She is afraid it won’t. With a husband like hers, she cannot hope for any lasting happiness. Her friendship with Jai may perhaps not last as she wishes for it to… not when there is the constant threat of Aparajit finding out where it is that she actually spends most of her time…who she spends that time with. He has already taken everything from her at this point… her dreams, aspirations, independence, dignity, and social life. He would take this from her too if he were to ever find out… which is why she is so desperate to keep it from him… desperate for this time with Jai to last as much as it can.  

“What’s wrong?”

His voice breaks her out of the brief haze that engulfs her. She shakes her head, smiling lightly to ward off her dampened mood. 

“… It’s nothing… I was just thinking… I wish… that time could just remain still sometimes… Don’t you?” she asks, her eyes searching his…  

“Hmmm… it would be nice… get to stay in my prime age and not get any older… I would like that,” he jokes with a twinkle in his eyes. The smile on her lips grows. 

A brief silence passes till Bani remembers something… 

“Before I forget… I meant to give this to you earlier…”

Jai watches curiously on as she opens her purse and digs through it. His brows rise when she withdraws a wrapped box with a red bow on top and extends it to him. 

“Congratulations again Jai on the promotion… you really do deserve it,” she wishes warmly. 

“What’s this? Bani, this is completely unnecessary. The fact that you even came to the party, that is enough for me. There’s no need for this,” he refutes gently, not taking the box from her.

Bani frowns at him, a cross look adorning her face. “Jai, now you are being silly… How could I not get you something for the occasion? This is such a huge step in your career,” she insists, pushing the wrapped item toward him. 

He laughs from both the face she gives him and by the discomfort of receiving a gift from her. She gives him another expectant look that urges him to take it from her waiting hands. 

“Open it,” she implores, giggling when Jai is amused by her excitement. Her excitement, though, makes a broad smile emerge on his face. He does just as he is told. Carefully unwrapping the paper, he opens the lid to the moderately sized box and wonders what’s inside. Bani observes him closely, waiting impatiently for his reaction... 

She bites on her lower lip as he takes out the various items inside the box… and seeing him openly admire first the sleek navy mont blanc ballpoint pen in its case. 

Bani is relieved when his smile broadens, a particular gleam present in his dark eyes. He turns to her, exhilarated. 

“Bani…,” he breathes. “I …..” but before he can finish what he has to say, she cuts in and points something to his notice. 

“It also has your initials on the top… do you see?” 

She directs his attention to the pen where the initials JW appear in eloquent golden letters. His eyes become even brighter on seeing this. 

“I know that it’s just a pen… but you do say that you can never keep track of your pens… and they never work well enough… and I figured that since you draw so many sketches that I—..”

Now Jai intervenes, speaking hastily. “Bani, it’s incredible… I mean,” he laughs in pleasure, “it’s the very one I wanted,” he professes enthusiastically. Taking the pen out of its case, he inspects it even closer, approval clear on his features… 

“Are you sure?” she persists uncertainly. “Because I did really try to get you something useful but wanted to get you something you’d like at the same time—..” she rambles.

His gaze tearing off the pen, he looks directly to her, making her stop in her words. 

“Bani, I absolutely love it… I can’t believe that you went out of your way to get me this… Really, I’m touched,” he expresses, amazed by the gesture. She blushes by how intently he stares at her. His gaze fleets back to the original box where he looks back to the other items lying still in there… 

“And you got me a sketchbook…,” he exclaims when noticing it. He picks it up, still holding the pen in its case securely in his other hand. He opens the book, running through its crisp pages… admiration building on his face. “Ah, the best kind I see…” 

“I knew you were running low so I took the liberty of getting another one… It’s really nothing,” Bani mutters sheepishly. 

“No, it’s something… something special,” he remarks, grinning. “I can’t wait to use these for work… thank you,” he appraises her. 

“… There’s more,” she mentions, unnerved by his fixed gaze on her. She takes the other remaining item, her fingers fiddling with the cover.

“… The pen and sketchbook… it’s just a small part…. This is really what I want to give you…,” she fumbles a little in her words. She is aware of how Jai looks closely as she clasps open the cover to reveal a vintage yellow gold watch in perfect mint condition, the hands ticking…. 

Jai appears to be blown away by this, staring at her in disbelief. 

“Bani—..”

“You’re going to be busier with the promotion… and with having to take care of Krishy, I thought it’d be useful to know the time… since you do tend to be late to your meetings and I know how things get hectic for you… so hopefully this will help,” she explains, handing over the beautiful watch to Jai, who takes it speechlessly. He continues to look at her in wonder. 

“Bani, I can’t take this… this must have cost you a fortune—how did you---where did you,” he stammers, glancing from her to the watch and back to her. 

“It was my grandfather’s… He gave it to me because he knew how much I liked it… Please don’t refuse,” she pleads when she sees him open his mouth in protest. 

“I’ve been holding onto it all the years, not knowing what to do with it… but if I wanted anyone else to have it, then it would be you Jai… It would mean so much to me if you accept it,” she continues hopefully, her eyes looking to him beseechingly. 

There is a pause in which Jai seems unsure. 

“Bani, you should probably give this to your husb—“

“Jai, my grandfather was the best man I knew…. I would like to give it to the next best man I know,” she explains herself to him. 

His gray eyes lock with hers on hearing this. Lowering her gaze, she fiddles with the pallu to her saree, nervous and sheepish in his presence. 

“I know you don’t wear watches, but maybe you could wear this one?” she asks in a soft hush, looking back up at him. When he remains silent, a thoughtful expression lingering on his face, she becomes disheartened and her face falls. 

“… Do … do you not like it, Jai? … I’m sorry, I just thought that—..”

“No…,” he firmly cuts her off. Startled, she looks worriedly to him. 

Seeing her crestfallen expression, he is quick to rectify his unintentional mistake. “No,” he repeats gently. “It’s not that… it’s just… I’ve never been given a gift like this before… and I don’t know how to explain fully how much I appreciate you giving me something so valuable…,” he clarifies, rekindling hope back in her… 

His eyes bore into hers. “Bani, I’m always going to cherish this…” he tells her huskily, bringing about a blush to her cheeks. An elated smile reappears on her lips, pleased that he has accepted and loves the gift. She keenly watches him regard the watch with genuine admiration, his fingers tracing the clock… 

“Would you like help putting it on?” she proposes.

He smiles brilliantly as an answer and Bani sets to the task of strapping the watch delicately around his left wrist. She feels further heat surface in her face by their close proximity and how his eyes never leave her during the process… 

“There,” she announces, taking a step back, thus, creating space between them. With his other hand, Jai runs his fingers through his hair while giving his usual boyish grin… looking sheepish himself. 

“… I… I don’t even know what to say… This is by far the best gift I have ever received… Thank you Bani,” he addresses her sincerely. 

She smiles shyly at him. “There’s no need to thank me… I wanted to,” she expresses happily, satisfied with his reception.   

The blush in her cheeks deepens when his eyes do not look away from her; her breath comes to a still as his gray orbs gaze at her so intently as if he can see into the depths of her very soul. Before she can gather the nerve to ask him what is wrong, his deep voice resounds in the quiet night… 

“Bani… you are…. so thoughtful… kind… smart… and just… wonderful…you know that?” 

She’s left momentarily speechless, captivated by the look in his eyes. Her heart drums… 

“It’s why I…” his words still and an indecipherable expression overcomes his features briefly. 

“…. Why you what?” she encourages in a soft undertone… her insides fluttering. 

He pauses but then smiles, his white teeth flashing at her… “It’s why I value you so much as a friend…,” he completes amiably.  

Feeling warm all over, Bani burns beneath his direct gaze yet smiles coyly. Her eyes sparkle. She watches him glance down at his watch, look back to her and quip seriously…. 

“How am I ever going to make this up to you?”

She is about to tell him that there is no need to when instead another thought crosses her mind. She surprises him by taking the pen from him and waving it before his eyes. 

“Draw me something? I would love to see some of your designs…” she suggests only to have Jai smirk roguishly in return. Taking a hold of his sketchbook, he flips over the cover and smooths out the first page. He motions to the stone bench nearby where they sit, Jai situating himself in order to fulfill Bani’s request. Bani hands over the pen… 

“What will it be?” he inquires with a pip in his tone. 

“Whatever you want,” she eagerly replies, watching him in anticipation. …

He takes a moment to mull over this till his fingers take a firm grip onto his personalized pen, his hand swishing back and forth in fast movements across the page. Bani sits by his side, her eyes glued to the sheet, leaning close…their shoulders brushing. Gradually she sees Jai creating a quaint house structured with an old-time feel to it; shaded shutters on each window, columns on either side of the front door, fashioning an archway in which small steps ascend to, and a porch that wraps around with its railing setting a distinguished tone for the house. 

“Jai… this is amazing,” Bani breathes in sheer surprise of his talent. He aims a look her way, seeing that her face is inches from his… 

“You really think so?” 

“Oh it’s just beautiful… Is this one of your projects?” her hazel orbs meet his. 

“Sort of… but not for work. It’s a personal project of mine… I’ve had a vision of it for years now… Originally I was putting it into works of being a house for me, Krishy, and Sonali… but after Sona’s passing, I dropped it… I picked up on it again, though, some time back…It just came to me...  I added quite a few changes… You see right here?” he points to the exquisitely drawn porch. Bani nods her head, following… 

“That originally was never there… And this…,” presenting the archway and the stairs that descend from it, “it’s a new idea too… I kind of restarted this from scratch… but kept some old things… it’s just an idea for now… once I have the money and resources, I’ll set out in making it… depending on the circumstances really…” he finishes. 

“What kind of circumstances?” she questions. 

“… Just certain circumstances,” he answers vaguely with an impish grin. She throws him a look for his vagueness before returning her gaze onto the sketch. Her eyes peer at it, taking every little detail in…learning that she falls further in love with the design the more she looks at it. It’s a magnificent little home. 

“Any suggestions? … I’d love your input,” he asks, startling her. She is about to refute, finding nothing wrong when instead a thoughtful expression unfolds on her face and she’s silent for a short moment before answering him…. 

“Well I don’t see a chimney…” she drawls, scanning the drawing for one… 

“A chimney?” he repeats, puzzled. 

Her big eyes flicker to him. “Yes… why, do you not think it’s a good idea to have one?” her voice faltering… 

“I just didn’t think of it… Most homes don’t have them anymore…,” he clears… 

“Well where would you run the fire then?” she poses back, confused herself… 

“Fire?” 

“Yes, fire. There would be a fireplace inside, wouldn’t there?” she presumes. 

“I… I didn’t think there was a need,” he mumbles, surprised by Bani taking importance to two things he did not heed any importance to. 

Her eyes suddenly shine at him. “But you have to have a fireplace,” she almost exclaims. “What would you do during the winter time?” she prods. 

“Well I assumed the heating unit would suffice,” he quips back, poker-faced. Bani continues as if she hadn’t heard him, pointing at the sketch.

“And there could be a swing set on the porch for Krishna… Rano and I had one when we were young… it made up most of my childhood…”

“Anything else?” he persists, amused by her at this point and interested in what exactly she has in mind… 

“Will there be a sunroom? I can see Krishna playing in there… ” 

“There can be a sunroom,” he abides to this easily with a small grin… 

“How many floors would it be?”

“How many do you think there should be?”

“Well… Two seems enough… you wouldn’t want Krishy wandering around in too big of a house by herself…,” Bani deplores…  

His lips stretching across his face, he observes her keenly as she speaks on animatedly about the project in between sketching the very things she suggests, adding in the porch swing and chimney before flipping to the next page…his pen gliding along the paper. He begins in constructing the layout… 

“How many rooms is it?”

“There’s the customary kitchen, dining area, living room...Perhaps three bedrooms and three baths… an extra room as an office…”

“And the sunroom?” she brings up again, looking at him expectantly. The corners of his mouth twitch. “And the sunroom,” he confirms. Bani smiles in pleasure and glances down again to the movement of his hand, drawing out the layout to the house. Her shoulder rubs against his as she draws closer… 

“… Maybe you could keep the office next to the sunroom? That way you can keep an eye on Krishna while you work…”

“Certainly,” he obliges, taking note of it. 

“And keep the kitchen connected to the living area? That way when guests are over, they can still be given company when in the kitchen…”

 “Hmmm… cooking and entertaining at the same time, I like it,” his voice rumbles in approval. “Would you want to keep the dining area separate?”

“Yes, it can be on the other side of the kitchen… Oh Jai, now that I think about it, maybe we should add another room?” she proposes… 

“Oh yeah? And what will we use it for ?...” 

“Well when we have company, we will want another room to seat them for snacks and tea… without the distraction of the television or cooking in the kitchen…,” she elaborates, her eyes captivated onto the sheet before them, visualizing the structure of the home in her mind. 

“Keep the living area for family and close friends… and the other room for formal guests,” he nods along. 

“Exactly,” she beams at him, her knee bumping into his from her eagerness. “We could place paintings in the room, antiques and whatever else...”

“It’d be our little showroom of sorts…,” he agrees, throwing a grin her way. “Yes,” she answers gleefully, warmth seeping into each nook and corner of her body from his beautiful smile. He returns his gaze to his drawing, adding some last touches to it. Once finishing, he flips the page back to the first and presents the sketchbook proudly to her, lifting it in the air before them… 

Tapping the page with his pen’s end, he announces cheerily, “There’s our house.” 

Her lips erupt into a full smile, gazing endlessly at the beautiful design of the home she can see clearly in her mind; a mental picture implanted in herself. That is, till she registers the words he expresses unmindfully… 

“Our house…,” she repeats, a bit breathlessly as reality starts to sink in her, waking her from the cozy imagination that entranced her. Did she not just picture the house exactly how Jai put it?  As their house? His and hers… And she actually believed it for a short moment; envisioning clearly living in that very house… with him. So caught up with the enchantment of the idea, she let herself be carried away and indulge the fantasy… a fantasy she secretly dreamt of most nights. 

Jai looks from the outline to her, a particular expression worn on his face...one she cannot name. He notices a wistfulness arresting her lovely features, her eyes shimmering in hope mingled with an underlining sadness. His raised hand lowers, slowly resting the pad back onto his lap… 

“Bani….” 

She turns her gaze to him… drowning in his stormy eyes. Did he picture it too? Did he envision the life they could have had together? Did he imagine the sunroom where Bani, Krishy, and he would dance and play in? Did he see Bani cooking in the kitchen, preparing a feast while Jai assisted her in between settling their guests and friends? Did he picture how in the late afternoons the three of them would sit on the porch swing and watch the sun set? How in the evening they’d sit by the crackling fireplace, Jai reading a book and Bani braiding Krishna’s hair? How at night they’d go to their bedroom where she’d fall into his arms… arms that would keep her warm and safe?  

“Banee…” his silky voice murmurs her name again…. 

Her heart skips a beat and she forgets to breathe … Did he see into her dreams? 

Despite the cool breeze, she can feel heat surface all over her body as she watches him draw near, his face inching close…. She sees a tenderness appear in those dark orbs…the very same tenderness she has seen many times in these past months. His expression softening, a gentleness present in his features … 

How many times did she picture this very moment? Where Jai would look at her just like this… draw close just like now… and press his lips to hers… 

Her mouth parts slightly as her eyes stare into his darkening ones… and she follows his gaze as it lowers to her lips… 

Far too many to count… She has dreamt it, wished it, and hoped for it…. She would not deny the fact anymore. 

His fingers take a hold of her chin, lifting it slightly so to make her gaze meets his once more… and she cannot mistake what is reflected in it… she is sure he can see it in hers too… 

Her heart hammering fast, she feels somewhat lightheaded from anticipation and lifts a hand to place on his chest to steady herself… Just as she feels his breath fan her hot face, something catches her eye and her hand stills midair…her fingers almost brushing his shirt… 

The ring on her left hand gleams bright, a perfect contrast against his black dress shirt… and she is rudely pulled out of the trance… ripped away from the fantasy… steered clear from the illusion… and reminded of everything. 

Bani firmly presses her hand into Jai’s broad chest while moving her face away and keeps her gaze lowered, not wanting to meet his eyes… 

“It… It’s getting late… I should go,” she quietly says, her voice failing her at the moment…  

She hears only a stinging silence from him that he does not break till after roughly clearing his throat… She feels him move back, his knees shifting, recreating space between them… 

“Y-yes… of course… I understand,” he professes kindly, but she picks up on the slight strain in his tone… 

“I will drop you downstairs,” he offers on an afterthought…. 

Taking another moment to build courage in her, she lifts her eyes and looks squarely into the hard look that has formed on his face… 

“… Jai, you don’t—..”

Before she can refute, he cuts in… 

“I insist…”

Knowing there is no point to argue with this since he will not relent, she concedes by nodding. She rises on her feet and sees from her peripheral vision how Jai follows… 

They left the balcony in a silence, Jai trailing only slightly behind… On the way to the elevators, they met the feat of wishing goodbye on Bani’s behalf to Jai’s friends and colleagues, during which Bani SMSed her driver to pick her at the front entrance of the building. They ride the cart down from the top floor to ground level in resumed silence, each looking the other way… casting glances only when sure the other is not aware… Just as they exit the cart, walking down the hallway to the front lobby side by side, Bani is aware that she is still wearing Jai’s coat… 

Letting it slip from her shoulders, she removes the coat and hands it to him… the warmth of it leaving her. 

“Here is your coat back… I don’t want to steal it from you…,” she says light-heartedly in an attempt to eradicate the awkwardness of their situation. She watches as a faint smile tugs on his lips, perhaps smiling to help make the mood light.  

“Thank you,” she expresses her gratitude again and the faint smile grows a notch. “You’re welcome,” he replies politely. 

Glancing at the lobby’s windows, she can see the blur of her driver’s car waiting by the side of the street… 

“… I had a wonderful time Jai… thank you for inviting me,” she sincerely tells him, finally looking into his eyes since they left the balcony… 

He holds her gaze. “Of course… and,” he clears his throat again, “thank you for coming… It means a lot to me … and for the gift,” he finishes when they come to a still on reaching the lobby doors. 

Smiling gently at this, she nods her head, acknowledging his appreciation. 

“… I’ll see you soon?” he poses to her almost hesitantly. She notices the lingering discomfort in his body language… To ease it away, she smiles further at him. “Yes, soon,” she responds definitively. It is now his turn to softly smile. His gray eyes blaze. “Take care, Bani.” 

“Goodnight, Jai…”

“Goodnight…”

Bani is aware of his loitering presence in the lobby as she exits through the doors and walks back out into the cool night, headed to the car that waits for her with its tinted windows rolled up and gas running….. She is sure he will leave only when she safely reaches the car. 

She’s proven right when she stares out of her window from inside of the car, locating his figure through the building’s windows and how it turns in the other direction, eventually fading from sight… 

As the driver pulled away from the building and returned to the main road, she could no longer contain her emotions and did what she wanted to do since the moment she retracted from Jai up on the balcony… not caring for her driver’s presence, she cried to her burdened heart’s content… 

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I apologize if this update didn't meet to any of your expectations. Please let me know what you thought--positive or negative feedback is always welcomed!