SS: What the Heart Wants ... Chapter 5 & New Chapter [9/17/13]

Hi all, I know it has been a LONG time but I am back with an update! Hopefully this all will entertain you briefly while I work on the other two updates for Chupke Se and Incomplete Life. Thank you so much for those who stuck around so patiently while I took care of some important things. Well, hopefully you all enjoy and just a forewarning, there's unfortunately not much of JW in this one but I will make it up in the next!

The Root of Destruction …

She had been in the sunroom, humming and finger-painting alongside the little girl who giggles as Bani teasingly paints her face... when he came home for the day, letting his presence be known by leaning into the doorway, wearing his usual handsome grin. Bani beams, her smile stretching across her face, while the little girl runs to her father, who swings her high into the air. He meets Bani’s eyes from across the room, his smile building. She stands, smiling coyly as he approaches, the girl still upheld in his arm. She willingly goes into his embrace when he takes her by the waist and kisses her sweetly on the cheek.

“And what are my two favorite girls up to?” he asks, looking from Bani to his daughter, and she and the girl snigger when spotting the blue smear on his lower jaw originally on Bani’s face and the yellow on his right cheek from his daughter. His brows rise, following their gazes to the smudges on his face, learning what is humoring them so much. He watches as together the two giggle on the sight of him, provoking him to do what he does next… dipping his fingers into the paints beside them and smearing the colors onto both of their faces. The little girl squeals whereas Bani bursts into laughter, unsuccessfully dodging his hand. They involve themselves into a brief painting war, each trying to get the other covered in as much of the water colors possible… laughing all the while.

When settling down, he pulls the both of them into his chest, pecking each on their heads and proposing they go out to eat for the evening—a nice family dinner. His gaze lingers on her, snuggled into his left side, soaking up the warmth he exudes. She hums her approval, leaning contently on his shoulder... feeling at peace.

The sudden ring of the doorbell draws her away from the drugging feel of his strong arms that hold her so close… It is silent for a moment till it begins to ring incessantly. She reluctantly volunteers to answer it while he carries out the little girl from the sunroom and to her bedroom, teasingly pretending to drop her here and there on the way, causing her to erupt into peals of shrieking laughter… Bani smiles endearingly over the father-daughter antic on the way to the door, neglecting the fact that her face resembles a rainbow…

Taking the handle into her firm grip, she pulls the door open, revealing the tall figure standing on the porch before her… The smile faltering, her face paling, she stares into his dark molten eyes and sneering face… her hand drops….  

“Forgot me so soon, did you?”

She wakes up in a startle; eyes flying open and a soft gasp leaving her lips. Her gaze sweeps across her dark surroundings and only settles when realizing she is in her bedroom… her previous racing heart comes to a slow. On hearing light snoring, Bani looks to the right and meets her husband’s back… sleeping inches away.

Dismay floods her….

Looking away, she stares up at the white ceiling, taking a few breaths…

She had another dream… of him. It was different this time. Instead of being at the park, the usual scene, they were in the very house Jai created for her just hours before… acting like a family… a real family.

Bani brushes away a tear, not allowing herself to cry… not again that night. Shutting her eyes, she wills herself to forget the dream and sleep… ignoring the ache in her chest, an ache that builds each day….

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Her mind replayed what happened on the balcony continuously over the next few days. She could not seem to forget it no matter how hard she tried. Sometimes she found herself wondering whether she mistook anything on his part and imagined it all in her head… and other times she was certain of what occurred between them… what was about to occur.

She decided to avoid the park for a brief time; not having it in her to face Jai after that night… not trusting herself to be in his company. Not when she can still distinctly remember the feel of his cool breath fanning her face…

For once in a long while, Bani drops by Rano’s house on one of her days off to spend time with her constantly busy sister and two kids; Krissy remaining with her mother for a few weeks with her father abroad. As she busies herself in the distraction of playing with her niece and nephew, Rano draws her lost attention…

“Bani, something strange happened the other day…”

“Hmmm, what was that Didi?” Bani asks unmindfully, paying heed to the pull and tugs from her sister’s little ones who beckon her to play with them and their toys.

Rano leans against the archway of the kitchen, arms crossed against her chest, and looks wonderingly at her. Her brows knead together as her brown eyes squint from behind the glare of her glasses.

“Well Aparajit called me …,” she announces loudly over the ruckus of her kids, who are smashing toys left and right.

Despite the noise of the children, Bani can hear these words of her sister’s loud and clear… she whirls her head in her direction, her gaze landing on Rano’s form… her big eyes attentive.

“He was saying something about a promotion party… and how he was sorry he couldn’t make it… but that he was happy for my success and would make sure to drop by when he has the time,” Rano prattles on, evident confusion appearing on her face.

Something inside of Bani sinks and her face pales… a sudden haze takes over and she feels as if everything has come to a still… she can feel the pulse in her neck beating erratically…

“Do you have any idea what he was talking about?” Rano continues, seeking an answer.

“… Didi,… what… what did you say to him?” Bani’s inquiries hoarsely as a clamminess starts to settle in, her breathing coming to a slow…

“But Bani, what did he mean by a promotion p—..”

“What did you say?” Bani nearly shouts, her voice rising quickly almost in hysteria.

She holds back her tongue when seeing her sister’s brows shoot up, taken aback by her sudden outburst. But stares beseechingly at her, desperate to know what conversation her sister shared with her husband… The kids have now stopped in their movements, coming to a silence and staring wide-eyed from their aunt to their mother…

Rano’s arms drop and she straightens her slouched form; looking to Bani, alarmed.

“.. I thanked him for his wishes and said that I would love to have him by whenever… I didn’t know what else to say.. He’s always so brash and direct about what he says, I didn’t have it in me to ask what he was talking about…,” her sister answers promptly…

Bani’s eyes close and her shoulders slump from the momentary tension that kept them stiff. She exhales and gathers air back in her, trying to regain regularity in her breathing… relief soothes away the terror that besieged her.

For a moment she felt her world falling apart, as if the ground was snatched right beneath her… A darkness encroaching all around….

“Kris, Ansh, take your toys and play in the next room…,” Rano suddenly instructs, turning her attention to her kids who have stopped playing with their toys and simply look to the adults in interest…

Bani watches the children flee to the adjoining room after collecting their toys, following their mother’s order. She meets her sister’s inquisitive gaze when they disappear from sight…

“Bani, what’s wrong? What is it that you are not telling me?” her sister wastes no time in asking directly when Krissy and Ansh are out of earshot… the sounds of their playing and laughter picking up again.

“What was Aparajit talking about and why did he think I had some kind of party?” Rano demands to know after noticing her sister’s troubled face… how her face crumbled within seconds… her hazel eyes reflecting fear.  She walks over to Bani, taking a hold on her arm…

“I can see it clearly on your face… so do not bother lying to me… Something is going on with you…” she observes keenly.

Bani places her own hand on Rano’s that is secure around her upper arm… her eyes widen further…

“Didi, when did he call you? What did you say to him exactly? Tell me,” she pleads, her anxious fingers sinking into her sister’s hand.

Rano appears taken aback even more by Bani’s strange, frantic behavior… she has never seen her baby sister so uneasy before…

“Bani?” Rano says her name in sheer surprise over her state. Concern unfolds on the older woman’s face mingled with growing confusion. “Bani, what has gotten into you, huh? Why do you look so afraid? You are scaring me, tell me, what is wrong?” she prods, cupping Bani’s pale face into her hands. Her brown eyes examine her carefully… 

“What is wrong is that you are not telling me everything about your conversation with him,” Bani comes forth, appearing aggrieved; urging her sister to provide the information she is desperate in hearing…

Rano blinks dumbly back at her. “Bani I told you… he called, said something about a party… congratulated me and that’s it… I just went along with it… said that you were with me like you told him you were and there was nothing more to it… We hardly spoke any more than that…”

“Didi, you are absolutely sure? You didn’t tell him anything else?” she persists, wanting to give her mind absolute peace. 

“Hain baba, nothing else… I swear… Now what I want to know is why Aparajit believed I was holding some party and that you were with me that night…,” Rano brings back the topic to focus, her face grim.

Bani removes her sister’s hands from her face and avoids looking into her expectant eyes any longer. A new dread fills her—what to tell Rano? Does she tell her the truth? Everything? Would it be in Bani’s best interest to do so? Can she trust her sister to not judge her? To not tell anyone the secret no one knows? She is tired of spinning one lie after another… How many more lies can she spew? Perhaps Rano deserves the truth; as it is, Bani hasn’t a clue what excuse to give her. She is stumped. She would have to explain herself, reveal something that she has not disclosed to a single soul in months. She would have to tell her about Jai…

Slumping down on the nearby couch, Bani appears distraught and defeated, only increasing Rano’s concern and query more… Rano approaches, sitting on the other side of her…

“Bani, you are seriously worrying me… What is it that you are not sharing with me? But more importantly, with your husband?”

Her sister’s last words are what trigger the various emotions that Bani has been wrestling with for a long awhile now… her eyes grow moist and she feels her throat run dry… she is intent in not looking at Rano, avoiding her gaze and instead focusing on her fingers that twist the pallu to her saree…

“Bani, where were you that night?” Rano delves further…

“… Di… I… I  … I was with a friend… who had a promotion party, I went to show my support…,” Bani takes her time to say, formulating the words with great difficulty… weary of her sister’s reaction to what she has to share.

The lines on Rano’s forehead give away a bit when hearing this… “You were with a friend? That’s it?”

Bani nods her head affirmatively, still not meeting Rano’s eyes…

“Bani… What is the big deal? Why could you not tell this to Aparajit?”  

She pauses, hesitant to reveal more, and is more than aware of her sister’s gaze fixed on her. She fumbles through her next words…

“… He… He wouldn’t approve,” is what she offers as an explanation, building Rano’s query from her vagueness.

“Why’s that? What is so wrong with your friend?” Rano pries.

Bani’s hands continue to fiddle with her pallu, twisting it into knots around her fingers, her eyes rooted to her lap. That is, till Rano’s hand comes forth and removes the pallu from her hold, drawing her attention back to her.

“Bani….” she says her name in warning, signaling that her patience is being tested enough.  

“…. Because he’s a man…. and I…. I have been meeting him in secret for the past many months… Aparajit does not know about him…. no one does,” Bani reveals, biting down on her lip when meeting Rano’s gaze squarely.

Shock unveils on the older woman’s face when hearing this confession of hers. Bani can see it in her pools of brown that become awestruck. Dread quickly settles in the pit of her stomach… When seeing Rano open her mouth, most likely to yell at her, Bani intervenes hastily…

“Didi, please listen to me first,” she pleads. “It is nothing wrong… I just cannot tell Aparajit… He wouldn’t understand… If he learns about him, then I’m afraid my friendship will not last… Aparajit will make it impossible on me… You have to understand… I have no choice but to keep this from him… He…. He can be very unreasonable,” Bani adds on a soft note.

Rano’s mouth remains agape, sputtering in disbelief. Her eyes blink behind her shades, a glint reflected in the glass.

“… Bani… you are telling me…. that you have been sneaking off to see another man in secret… for many months now… that it was with him who you were with on that night… and your husband has no clue of any of this?” Rano demands incredulously.

Bani flinches from her dark tone yet demurely nods her head in agreement. There is no point in hiding anything from her sister; as it is, she has been keeping all this to herself for far too long. Rano appears to be even more dumbstruck by her concession, as if having expected her to refute it all.

“Bani, are you insane?” she nearly screeches. “What are you thinking? What have you been doing with this man, tell me right now!”

“Nothing Rano Di, he is a friend..,” Bani clarifies defensively, not wanting her sister to react in this manner. She cannot stand it if her sister finds fault in her actions. Bani needs her to understand… understand why she has been doing this… why she has been unhappy for so long till Jai came into her life, like a breath of fresh air… making her feel alive once again.

“My only friend,” she continues when noting her elder sister seems close in being hyper, and then at that point, Rano will not hear any more of what she has to say.

“Please… you have to understand… I… I have been so unhappy in my marriage, Didi,” she croaks, water brimming in her eyes as this truth spills from her lips. Now that she has confessed about Jai, it seems she cannot help but lift off the remainder of her burdens…

“… I have been living in the shadows for the past years… felt as if my misery would drive me to insanity…”

“Bani, not this again. How many times do we have to make you understand? Aparajit was a godsend for you… what is so wrong with your life? Don’t be so ungrateful for all that you have… He is educated, successful, well-respected, and provides more than enough so you can lead a life in comfort and luxury… What more do you want?” Rano frowns, her voice laced with annoyance of the old topic being breached again.

Her sister has heard it all before, so have her parents…Bani complained to them months after her marriage… begging to come back home. Nishikant and Kiran Dixit would not hear any of it and threatened to sever all ties with her if she ever left her husband, claiming that they would not suffer the humiliation she would give their family in doing so. Bani did not bring it up with her parents again after that; she did, though, mention it in private to Rano on occasion only to be shut down as well. Rano took the same stance as their parents regarding the matter; Bani leaving her husband would be the worst thing she could do to her family’s reputation in their community.

“… I feel as if I can finally breathe again…,” Bani carries on, neglecting to address her sister’s demand. “… When I’m with him… I smile… and laugh….something that I thought I was not able to do anymore… and he listens to me… to anything that I have to say… even if it is the most silliest thing… He is always willing to listen…. I…. I’m happy with him… He makes me happy…”

Rano’s eyes do not leave her once, carefully scrutinizing her as she prowls on…

“He’s my best friend… and I couldn’t bear it if I lost his friendship just because my husband would not understand… because my husband has never been able to understand me…. he has taken everything from me… My marriage to him suffocates me… I am unable to do anything I like… Am I not allowed to be happy, Didi? Don’t I deserve to be?” she beseeches, eyes glistening with tears.

“… I know it’s wrong of me to be sneaking around… to be lying to Aparajit… but… I swear on you, I haven’t done anything wrong… I’ve been faithful to my husband throughout my marriage… I’m not deceiving him or the vows that I’ve taken with him…” Bani ardently explains, needing Rano to know that she hasn’t betrayed her marriage in any way.

“Bani…. Who is this man?” is all that Rano has to say in response.

Bani shakes her head promptly in refusal; she will not tell her this…. Jai’s identity will remain only with her, no one else.

“Didi please… I will tell you everything that you want to know… but do not ask me this… I cannot tell you…”

“But—..”

“I just can’t…. I won’t,” she firmly states, taking her sister aback. “Please respect that…”

Clamping her mouth shut, a pensive look takes over Rano’s features. There is a long silence between the sisters; Bani watching her sister nervously while Rano seems to take this silence to process everything. Finally her sister looks back to her and new wave of fear engulfs her… She tries to anticipate her next words…

“You are not lying to me, are you? You are sure it is just friendship and nothing more, Bani? … You… You aren’t doing anything with this man that’ll bring shame to our family, …. are you?” Rano prods hesitantly, almost fearful of her answer.

“I promise… I’ve done nothing wrong… My conscience is clear… I’ve been a loyal wife to Aparajit…,” Bani insists, pushing back thoughts of the other night from her head….

“…. Do you love this man?”

It seems as if all breath escapes Bani when Rano poses this question to her… and her heart skids. No immediate response leaves her since she is unable to speak… her throat running dry.

“Bani…?”

Still she finds herself incapable of saying anything in return… A frown reappears on Rano’s face and her brows furrow together.

“Bani… do you love him?”

“…. No,” she finally answers hoarsely… blinking back tears…. feeling suddenly numb inside. “… No, I don’t…”

Staring into the lingering disbelief written on her elder sister’s face, Bani reaches for her hands, applying a firm pressure onto her palms. She stares determinedly into Rano’s eyes as she forces herself to speak her next words in a clearer voice....

“Di, he is just a friend and nothing more...,” she declares once again to rid any doubts in her sister’s mind...

Rano becomes visibly relieved when hearing this but it does not completely ease away the rest of her apprehensions on the matter. She claps her own hands around Bani’s and stares directly into her damp eyes...

“Bani… I appreciate you telling me the truth… to trust me with this… But I have to say… that I do not agree with what you have been doing…” Rano professes clearly…

Taken aback, Bani lifts her gaze to her….

“… Though he may be a friend… what you are doing is wrong,” she stresses in a calmer tone than before.

Stunned, Bani opens her mouth in protest—wanting to refute this and insist she hasn’t crossed any boundaries but Rano cuts her off…

“You sneaking around… lying to Aparajit… spending time with another man in private who is not your husband… It is wrong, Bani. Now… I understand why you have been hesitant in telling Aparajit about him… and I understand that your friend may be dear to you… But Bani, the way you are talking about this man… the manner in which you meet him… No one else is going to be able to understand it… Even if you haven’t done anything immoral with him… you are cheating Aparajit by seeing him…”

“But we haven’t—..”

“If not physically, then emotionally… You are emotionally cheating on your husband Bani…. It should be with your husband who you feel this way… who you share an emotional connection with… not a stranger. Just imagine if Aparajit learns of this… what do you think will happen then, huh?”

Bani lowers her gaze, feeling a fresh bout of tears springing in her eyes… Disappointment and dismay overcomes her… of her sister’s inability to understand her despite her best efforts to get her to. Seeing Bani’s face fall, Rano lifts her chin to make her eyes meet hers again....

“… You have to think wisely about this Bani… It will not look good in the eyes of others… I am your sister, so I will not judge you… I can understand how you need a friend.... But I can’t say the same for anyone else… especially Aparajit… and his anger would be justified….”

“Promise me that you won’t tread further into this friendship… keep it at plain friendship and nothing more… that you won’t do something that will risk your marriage… and that you will channel these feelings you have into making your marriage with Aparajit work… He is who you should be feeling happy with… not someone else…” she advises concernedly.

“Bani, I do not want you going down a self-destructive path where there will be nothing but pain for you… Don’t entertain this idea you have of ending your marriage…  You know very well what happened to me… Mama and Papa hardly speak to me even now because of it… Ansh does not get to see his grandparents often nor receive their love… One daughter has already disgraced them in the community because of divorce… Imagine what another daughter divorcing her husband would do to them? That too, a husband held so high in our community? They would never forgive you and shun you as well… And what would you do then? Your reputation would be ruined… Aparajit is such a powerful man, I do not imagine you would want him to trifle with….”

“Don’t let this friendship of yours be the root of your destruction…” she ends in a plea.

Bani simply stares back at her elder sister with tears swimming in her hazel eyes….

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Bani left Rano with the secured promise that she would not reveal anything they discussed in the privacy of her home. She made sure to swear her sister into sworn secrecy and knew she would not tell a soul. Rano became settled after their talk, perhaps by Bani seeking confidence in her or the belief that Bani would work on her marriage. Despite her sister not able to fully understand her, she felt light after their conversation… as if a burden was lifted from her shoulders. The secret she kept for this long not feeling as heavy as before… 

Bani did not expect Rano to comply with her complaints but was relieved that she did not judge her for her actions. She could not bear it if her sister looked down on a friendship that has been so far beautiful and kind to her…

Later that night as she lies in bed, she reflects on Rano’s precautionary advice… Even though she did not want to hear it, she knows whatever her sister said is true.

When Rano’s first marriage crumbled their parents were livid. They had married her off to a wealthy businessman, Nachiket Verma, who met their standards. Nishikant and Kiran Dixit boasted endlessly about their eldest daughter’s wonderful marriage that is till Rano arrived back home one day with luggage in hand. Nachiket and her were facing marital problems for a long while and could no longer seem to make it work. The divorce proceedings went through and a custody battle had been ensued. The Dixits were shamed by what they believed to be Rano’s failure in making her marriage work; aggrieved by the fact that their much older daughter and her young child would now live under their support. The community talked about the news for a long while and openly pitied Rano’s ill fate of being a single mother. When a couple of years later Rano married Ranveer Sharma, a lower-class man who did not meet her family’s status and wealth, Nishikant and Kiran cut ties with her because of their blatant disproval to the marriage. Many in the community began to wag their tongues again. Since then Rano has been somewhat of a laughing stock in their society for marrying below their class and living by meager standards. She has also not been able to reestablish her old ties with their parents who remain somewhat cold and aloof… 

Nishikant and Kiran Dixit take immense pride in their status in society. Their reputation comes before everything else. When Bani’s marriage became fixed to Aparajit Deb, it was a chance for them to redeem their family’s name in the community. And it had done just that since Aparajit Deb was one of the most prominent men of the elite. Bani’s alliance with their society’s most reputable man was a dream come true for her parents. The fact that her daughter was not all too happy with the match was least of their concerns. Emotional blackmailing and threats were a constant part in the few months leading up to her wedding; Bani had no choice but to comply if she did not want to break up their family and suffer the same fate as her sister – the usual taunt her parents issued. Bani’s happiness held no meaning in comparison to the renewed status the Dixits would receive....

Her happiness still holds no meaning....

Turning on the mattress, Bani stares out of the windows of the French balcony doors at the gleaming full moon masked behind the mist of dark clouds. Eventually her eyes grew heavy and she slipped into a restless sleep....

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“Don’t let this friendship of yours be the root of your destruction...”

 “...You are emotionally cheating on your husband.”

“… keep it at plain friendship and nothing more…”

“Your reputation would be ruined…”

“…. do you love him?”

Rano’s words continued to ring like an incessant bell in Bani’s mind the next morning as she prepared herself for the new day. She could not shake them off despite her best efforts to. The harder she tried to push them out, the more it came back to haunt her...

After placing on the last of her bangles, Bani gazes into her reflection in the mirror before her. Noticing her barren forehead, she reaches for the small container containing the vermillion and fills her parting as routine. Her insides sink as usual after completing the routine: dressing herself to the standards of being Aparajit Deb’s wife... wearing the best designer sarees... decking herself in the finest jewelry... tying the mangulsutra around her neck and applying sindoor...

However, this time, she attempts to shrug off the hollow feeling...and she thinks on Rano’s words again, brushing them aside as well as being baseless... There is no need for concern from her big sister, Bani hasn’t and will not do anything wrong... Despite the misery and loneliness she experiences in her marriage, she will remain the dutiful and faithful wife to Aparajit as everyone expects her to be... Jai is just a friend... who has been thus far good to her... there is nothing more to it... there is no love... As it is, she had accepted long back that love is not meant to be a part of her fate...

Her hazel eyes overshadowed with a twinge of darkness stare back at her....

She doesn’t love him. She does not love Jai. If she feels anything at all for him, it is simple affection one shares for a friend... There is no love.

Taking a calming breath, Bani tears her gaze away from the reflection and rises from the seat...

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Bani ignores the nerves bundling in the pit of her stomach as she walks forward, Ansh in hand, and the vision of the playground in sight. She had avoided the park for a week but knew it was inevitable for her to return. She cannot hide any longer.

She spots him a few feet away, sitting at their usual bench alone. She does not have to see his face in order to know it is him; staring into his back is enough to know for sure. Warmth floods her face and her feet drag across the grass, her previous normal pace coming to a slow...

Just as she nears the back of the bench, hesitant in announcing her presence, his head turns and she is struck to her place by the pools of dark gray that stare at her...

Her breath hitches in her throat and her grip on Ansh’s hand loosens, allowing him to break free and run excitedly to the playground where he will most likely find Krishna...

She stands frozen, blindsided by how her insides soar when meeting his eyes... how a particular emotion runs through her when slowly a gentle smile appears on his face... how her name sounds leaving his lips....

“... Bani...”

Rano’s words come rushing back....

“...do you love him?”

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Hi guys, I feel like I'm constantly apologizing about delaying the updates. I really am truly sorry, I don't do it intentionally. I just get so caught up in my personal and academic life, also I go through some writer's block sometimes and don't want to force myself to write updates that will only end up being terrible and that wouldn't be fair to my readers. But here is finally another installment to this story while I work on finishing up the updates for Chupke Se and Incomplete Life. I truly hope you guys enjoy it. Please leave feedback so I know who is still interested. I appreciate it and thank you all for being so incredibly patient! 


NEW CHAPTER! [9/17/13]


A Self-Destructive Path... 

They talked just the same; amiably and respectfully with a twinge of good humor. But something had surely changed between them. A heightened sensation hung over their heads, the air charged around them... making Bani incredibly aware of herself and him. 

They didn’t bring up the other night... neither had the courage to. Instead, both participants chose to neglect the memory and pretend nothing occurred...forget the fact how close they were in making their innocent friendship into much more.

Bani continued to see Jai regularly with the pretense of taking Ansh to the park; part of her desperate in seeing him, though she would not admit it, and another part wanting to prove her sister’s suspicion wrong. No matter what Rano said or implied, Bani hasn’t nor will she cheat on her husband. Though it is a bond that thus far has sucked away her life, it’s one she will choose not to insult with betrayal. She knows her limits as a married woman. It is not wrong for her to pursue a friendship considering she has longed for a companion since her marriage turned into a living nightmare and her friends faded away.

She is not treading down a self-destructive path...

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“She won the poem writing contest at her school today..,” he informs her with a gesture to his daughter, who presents a piece of paper proudly to the two-year old Ansh who stares at it with wonder. Bani cracks a smile and returns her gaze to the girl’s bemused father.

“She did, did she?” she chuckles sweetly.

He gives an affirmative nod while adding, “She’s been carrying it around since then like some kind of trophy.”

“I can understand her excitement. It’s not every day that a five-year old can win at something...”

Again Jai nods. He lowers his voice to avoid being heard by anyone else and leans in just a bit. Curiously Bani listens attentively to his next words, wondering what he has to say that cannot be spoken out loud.

“The thing is... I’d be the first person bragging about it if it weren’t for the fact that the poem is downright awful,” he mutters with a guilty grin.

Bani stares stupefied at her friend, momentarily taken aback by the father who supports his daughter in every little thing actually critiquing something about her. Not helping it, she implodes with laughter, her cheeks blooming.

“Jai...,” she exclaims disbelievingly between giggles.

Jai throws his hands in the air, his face looking even guiltier but the boyish smile remains on his lips. “I know, I’m a terrible father. I should lie or be praising her but I just can’t get past how unoriginal and dense it was. I mean... the sky is blue... the grass is green? What, did she win because the other kids thought they were different colors?” he remarks.

Bani continues to laugh freely, the breeze swaying her hair and cool on her skin. As he chatters away at his daughter’s inability to come up with a cleverer poem, she looks on at his impassioned face and appreciates his willing compliance in not mentioning that night a month ago. She feared it would bring a bridge between them, ruin the comfort they share... ruin the innocence to their relationship. But when she met him after the incident, she didn’t see a trace of discomfort on his face or in his body language. His eyes were warm and kind as usual... And she breathed a sigh in relief. Any thoughts evading her or tormenting her, she put aside and refused to think on them again.

“I have to read this poem,” she chirps happily, bubbling with joy and amusement.

“If you must... You could respond to it by telling her the sun is yellow...”

“Jai,” she laughs again. “I’m sure it’s beautiful! Don’t be so hard on the poor thing,” she chides lightly, knowing well that he loves his daughter more than anything and doesn’t mean anything by his words.

They carried on their conversation till the children came running to them, wanting some ice cream from the nearby parlor and Krishna reading her poem out loud excitedly to her aunt, who smiles approvingly along while her father muffles his laughter with forced coughs much to the further amusement of Bani.

“It’s time for me to take Ansh back or else his mother will bite my head off,” Bani announces. She watches as Jai glances down at her grandfather’s watch strapped around his left wrist, appearing as if it rightfully belongs there. The memory of that night begins to trickle back to her till Jai’s resounding voice stops it.

“Looks like I lost track of the time too. Krishy and me are supposed to go to my sister’s house for dinner tonight,” he says before all of them leave their booth in the parlor and stand, headed in different directions.

With Ansh on her hip and Krishy holding her father’s hand, both Jai and Bani cast smiles at one another in farewell.

“Next time?” he poses, already knowing the answer but saying it from habit.

“Next time,” she nods her head in agreement.

“Bye Aunty! I’ll write you a poem tomorrow!” Krishna waves at her with dimpled cheeks.

“Oh I’d love that sweetie,” Bani gushes and pinches one of her cheeks, noticing how Jai smirks from his daughter’s words.

With another look her way, Jai and Krishna turn to walk in the opposite direction, Krishna skipping along to match her father’s long strides. Bani watches them leave for a moment till a thought strikes her mind and she runs after them, Ansh tightening his hold around her neck, bouncing up and down on her hip. She places a hand on the back of one of Jai’s broad shoulders when reaching them and sees how he jerks his head around in surprise.

“Wait... I completely forgot to tell you that it’s Ansh’s birthday on Saturday. Please come if you can... Didi has insisted it as well, she told me especially to invite Ansh’s best friend from the park... It’s a small party at her house with games for the children. I’m sure Krishy will have fun,” she rambles encouragingly and doesn’t have to wait for his answer since Krishna gives it with a scream.

“Yes! Ansh’s party! Daddy, we have to go! Ansh is my best friend in the whole wide world! Daddy, we’re going, right?!!” she tugs on his pants eagerly with her large gray eyes.

Jai chuckles fondly at her, placing a hand on her head to calm her down. “Of course princess we’re going. ... We wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he adds, aiming a smile at Bani who returns it.

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A week later when she entered her sister’s small abode that usually is cluttered with files, books, and toys and instead saw bright decorations and balloons, she almost stepped out to see if she was in the right house. Her older sister was a mess; hair scattered, wearing pajamas and glasses askew. On the other hand, Ansh and Krissy were made up in pretty clothes, looking more than presentable. Bani urged Rano to get herself ready while she took care of the rest of the preparations in her absence. Once Ranveer arrived, he collaborated with Bani to get the party started.

Rano reappeared in a stunning sleeveless summer dress in time to greet all the guests pouring in. Bani was retying the ribbons in her niece’s hair when she felt tiny arms suddenly wrap around her slim waist.

Startled, Bani straightens up and looks down to see Krishna’s beaming face resting on her hip, her goofy smile lighting up Bani’s face.

“Krishy, you look so pretty today,” Bani compliments lovingly. Krishna giggles while showcasing her yellow frilly dress to her aunty.

“She insisted on wearing her best dress today to Ansh’s party...,” she hears the rumble of a familiar voice.

Looking up, she blinks her doe-like eyes at Jai, who stands before her dressed well in a casual navy polo and white slacks. Unknowing to her, her cheeks turn a light pink at the sight of him.

“I hope we’re not late?” he voices his concern a moment later.

“You both are just on time...,” she assures him with a warm smile. Glancing back at her niece who looks on curiously at the father and daughter, Bani places a hand on Krissy’s shoulder and redirects her gaze to Jai and Krishna.

“This is Krissy, Krishna... she is Ansh’s older sister,” Bani introduces the pair of girls who are close in age; their first introduction.

“And Krissy, this is Krishna—”

“Ansh’s best friend!” Krishna harps sweetly and Krissy smiles back at her. Jai and Bani share a look and smile laughingly.

“Come on Krissy, let’s go play with Ansh and his friends!” Krishna urges when grabbing a befuddled Krissy’s hand and leading her to the crowd of small children nearby playing with the balloons... leaving both adults behind.

“The party looks great,” Jai comments while gazing around. Bani, instead of following his gaze, keeps her eyes on him. She finds it hard to believe that Jai is standing before her....only a few feet away from her family. Sometime back she wouldn’t have had the courage to invite Jai and his daughter to a family event, wanting to keep the fact of her friendship with a man unknown to anyone a secret. But since her talk with Rano, she felt as if she had to prove the innocence of her friendship with Jai to her.... And when Rano mentioned to invite Ansh’s friend from the park as well, she couldn’t find it in herself to make an excuse. It wouldn’t have been fair to either Ansh or Krishy if for her own selfish reasons she kept them from celebrating his birthday together. The two have been thick as thieves for the past many months...

And Jai, he had been kind enough to extend an invitation to her for his promotion party. Couldn’t she at least return the favor instead of shutting him out of her personal life completely? After careful thought, she figured there would be no risk of anyone learning his identity since she never revealed who the man was to Rano nor would her husband or mother-in-law be in attendance at the party. As for her parents, they had simply sent a $200 check to Ansh’s parents as their blessings and went to their neighbor’s daughter’s engagement party instead.

Taking a deep breath to calm any lasting nerves in her, Bani smiles sheepishly at him.

“Would you like me to introduce you to Rano Didi and her husband?” she finds herself blurting and before she can say anything else, Jai’s gray eyes revert back to her and a grin appears on his lips.

“I would love that...”

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The party went on splendidly, the children more than enjoying themselves and Rano making a wonderful hostess. As the event dragged on, Bani could finally allow herself to breathe in relief and enjoy herself in Jai’s company. Confirming her hopeful prediction, Aparajit failed to make his presence and Rano seemed too busy to notice the budding friendship between Jai and Bani, laughing all in the meantime and talking endlessly with one another. Perhaps they were in a much better mood than usual because of the ambience of the party... or the fact that they were among a crowd of people as opposed to their normal isolation at the park...

Nearing the end of the party, Bani had been in the middle of sharing a childhood memory of her and Rano when she heard a cold biting voice speak just above her ear....

“Bani... why don’t you introduce me to your friend?”

Instantly her shoulders grow stiff, chills trickle down her back, and the previous glow on her face disappears abruptly...

Her heart thumping loudly, Bani slowly turns to meet dark molten eyes scorching at her...

At a loss of words, she feels the presence of Jai and everyone else around fade into nothingness as she stares into her husband’s eyes, aghast. The cheers from the children grow into a faint echo in her ears as a numbing sensation captivates her body, keeping her body still in its place....

Aparajit Deb gives a slow smirk; fooling everyone but her... she will not make the mistake of believing the forced smile is genuine—only grimaces adorn his rigged face, nothing else.

“What’s wrong Mrs. Deb? You were chatting away just a second ago... what has caught your tongue all of a sudden?” his grave voice rumbles, attempting to sound jocular to others in their company but she and he know his real intent is not to be humorous as his dark orbs gleam meaningfully at her.

Bani remains agape, unaware of how Jai’s gray eyes stare at the back of her head curiously, furtively glancing from her to her husband standing before them...

She wills herself to speak, say anything instead of allowing an overwhelming silence come between them, confirming any doubts running through her husband’s calculative mind. She can witness the many questions and conclusions he has running through his thoughts through his narrowed gaze on her.

Before she can fully succumb to the wave of dizziness that threatens to make her fall, a sudden grip on her left arm keeps her upright, lean fingers applying a firm pressure into her skin.

“Aparajit, I am so glad that you could make it,” Bani hears her sister’s voice beside her. Startled, she glances to her left to see Rano smiling politely at her brother-in-law.

Aparajit’s gaze finally leaves her and fixates onto her elder sister instead. She attempts to regain any bit of air back into her as she finds herself completely breathless on the thought of Jai standing just a foot away from her husband....

“Rano, I apologize for arriving so late. I was caught up in a meeting and earlier believed I couldn’t make it but luckily got out earlier than expected... then I figured I swing by to wish my nephew... As it is, I do not have the chance to meet you and your family often... another fault on my part, I have to admit,” he dwindles into light conversation with Rano, who keeps a steady hold on an anxious Bani—blown away by the predicament that has befallen on her and how to save her face in front of her husband. Casting a discreet look behind her at Jai, she sees how a solemn expression has overtaken the youthful abandonment on his handsome features... as if he realizes the trouble at bay.

“Oh do not apologize Aparajit, I understand that you are a busy man... But for you to make out time to come to my son’s birthday means the world,” Rano gushes sweetly. She follows Aparajit’s gaze back to her younger sister and especially the male standing by her. Instantly, she diverts his attention again.

“Aparajit, please let me introduce you to my good friend, Jai... His daughter and Ansh have become into great friends, practically inseparable... Jai, this is Aparajit Deb, my brother-in-law... meaning my sister’s husband,” Rano introduces kindly, finally addressing Jai’s presence among them, causing him to look directly into Aparajit Deb’s cold eyes.

Bani watches keenly through lowered eyes as Jai smiles sincerely at her husband and extends his hand out for a handshake.

“Aparajit, it’s a pleasure to meet you...”

“...Likewise, Jai,” Aparajit grimly stresses, gripping Jai’s hand firmly and letting go a moment later.

Bani’s heart continues to race...

“Aparajit, let me get you a piece of cake and inform Ranveer that you’ve arrived... Then you gentlemen can busy yourselves with whatever you’d like ... I will need Bani for a little while, though, to help clean up around here, if you don’t mind?”

“Of course not, Rano,” Aparajit dismisses breezily and Rano puts on a last smile before tugging on Bani’s arm to have her follow...

Bani is careful to avoid her husband’s searing gaze as well as look anywhere in Jai’s direction, not wanting to add to her husband’s already forming suspicions about her familiarity with a man unknown to him...

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Please forgive me if it's an awful update, I didn't even reread it. Do leave comments, positive or negative!